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12 months ago
Her love is a cult
She keeps lovebombing him, so maybe join her cult then? Here are 5 reasons you should join your girlfriends creepy cult:
Unwavering Devotion: Members are expected to show unwavering devotion to the girlfriend-cult leader, obeying her every command without question. Failure to comply results in mysterious consequences that no one dares to speak of.
Sinister Seduction: The girlfriend-cult leader exudes an unsettling aura of charisma and charm, drawing in new members with promises of love and acceptance. But behind closed doors, her true intentions remain shrouded in darkness.
Nightly Vigils: Each night, members gather in dimly lit chambers to perform eerie rituals in honor of the girlfriend-cult leader. The air is thick with anticipation and fear as they await her arrival, unsure of what horrors the night may bring.
Whispers in the Dark: Rumors abound of whispered conversations between the girlfriend-cult leader and shadowy figures who lurk in the depths of the cult compound. What sinister plots are being hatched behind closed doors?
Forbidden Liaisons: Despite the dangers, members find themselves drawn to forbidden liaisons with the girlfriend-cult leader, unable to resist her seductive allure. But these clandestine affairs come with a steep price, as betrayal and heartbreak lurk around every corner.
Unwavering Devotion: Members are expected to show unwavering devotion to the girlfriend-cult leader, obeying her every command without question. Failure to comply results in mysterious consequences that no one dares to speak of.
Sinister Seduction: The girlfriend-cult leader exudes an unsettling aura of charisma and charm, drawing in new members with promises of love and acceptance. But behind closed doors, her true intentions remain shrouded in darkness.
Nightly Vigils: Each night, members gather in dimly lit chambers to perform eerie rituals in honor of the girlfriend-cult leader. The air is thick with anticipation and fear as they await her arrival, unsure of what horrors the night may bring.
Whispers in the Dark: Rumors abound of whispered conversations between the girlfriend-cult leader and shadowy figures who lurk in the depths of the cult compound. What sinister plots are being hatched behind closed doors?
Forbidden Liaisons: Despite the dangers, members find themselves drawn to forbidden liaisons with the girlfriend-cult leader, unable to resist her seductive allure. But these clandestine affairs come with a steep price, as betrayal and heartbreak lurk around every corner.
12 months ago
Wholesome flirting
What a cute relationship. Forever alone people don't continue reading, here's 5 reasons why kissing your girlfriend is cute:
The Lip Lock: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like playing a game of 'Where's Waldo?'—except instead of finding a bespectacled wanderer in a striped shirt, you're searching for the perfect pucker in a sea of lips. It's like a romantic scavenger hunt, but with fewer clues and more smooches!"
The Slobber Snuggle: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like sharing a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day—sure, it's messy and sticky, but it's also a sweet reminder that life's too short to worry about getting a little slobber on your chin. Embrace the messiness and dive mouth-first into the deliciousness of love!"
The PDA Parade: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like starring in your own personal rom-com—except instead of a Hollywood set, you're making out in line at the grocery store or stealing smooches at a stoplight. Who needs a blockbuster movie when you've got real-life romance happening right before your eyes?"
The Lipstick Locomotion: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Sure, you might get a little queasy from all the lip-locking, but isn't that half the fun of the ride?"
The Lovey-Dovey Lip Service: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like pressing the 'reset' button on a bad day—no matter how stressed or cranky you might feel, one smooch from your sweetheart is all it takes to turn that frown upside down. Who needs therapy when you've got the healing power of lip-locking love?"
The Lip Lock: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like playing a game of 'Where's Waldo?'—except instead of finding a bespectacled wanderer in a striped shirt, you're searching for the perfect pucker in a sea of lips. It's like a romantic scavenger hunt, but with fewer clues and more smooches!"
The Slobber Snuggle: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like sharing a melting ice cream cone on a hot summer day—sure, it's messy and sticky, but it's also a sweet reminder that life's too short to worry about getting a little slobber on your chin. Embrace the messiness and dive mouth-first into the deliciousness of love!"
The PDA Parade: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like starring in your own personal rom-com—except instead of a Hollywood set, you're making out in line at the grocery store or stealing smooches at a stoplight. Who needs a blockbuster movie when you've got real-life romance happening right before your eyes?"
The Lipstick Locomotion: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like riding a roller coaster—there are ups and downs, twists and turns, and the occasional loop-de-loop. Sure, you might get a little queasy from all the lip-locking, but isn't that half the fun of the ride?"
The Lovey-Dovey Lip Service: "Because kissing your girlfriend is like pressing the 'reset' button on a bad day—no matter how stressed or cranky you might feel, one smooch from your sweetheart is all it takes to turn that frown upside down. Who needs therapy when you've got the healing power of lip-locking love?"
9 months ago
9 months ago
12 months ago
Chris Chan Moment
Awkward and unwholesome...that ass though and I can say it we're not related. Complimenting your mothers ass is just awkward so have some reasons (ifyou even need any) not to do it:
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
"The Oedipal Odyssey": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like stepping into a Freudian nightmare. It's not just awkward; it's a one-way ticket to years of therapy and unresolved mommy issues. Best to keep those compliments strictly above the waist.
"The Maternal Mix-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally texting your ex "I miss you" instead of your new crush. It's a cringe-worthy mistake that'll haunt you for years to come—and probably end up in a family therapy session or two.
"The Freudian Slip-Up": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like playing Russian roulette with your relationship. One wrong move and you'll find yourself in a conversation so uncomfortable, even the family dog will start to squirm. It's best to keep the compliments platonic and the boundaries intact.
"The Freudian Foot-in-Mouth": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like putting your foot in your mouth—except instead of foot odor, it's the stench of awkwardness that lingers in the air. It's a social faux pas of epic proportions, destined to become the stuff of family legend.
"The Oedipal Oopsie-Daisy": Complimenting your mother's awesome ass is like accidentally calling your teacher "mom" in front of the whole class. It's a cringe-worthy moment that'll live on in family lore for generations to come—and probably earn you a spot on the therapist's couch.
9 months ago
12 months ago
Take Ketchup with you while exercising
The best sports drink out there! We even have proof backing up our statements:
"The Tomato Tango": Ketchup's tangy tomato goodness is like a salsa dance for your taste buds, energizing you with every sip. Just imagine the halftime show: athletes salsa-ing their way to victory with bottles of ketchup in hand.
"The Condiment Marathon": Forget about electrolyte drinks—athletes need a condiment marathon to refuel after a tough workout. With ketchup as the star player, runners can sprint to the finish line fueled by the power of tomatoes and vinegar.
"The Red Rocket Fuel": Ketchup's vibrant red color is like a rocket fuel for athletes, propelling them to new heights of performance. Plus, the added bonus of staining everything it touches ensures that your opponents will see you coming from a mile away.
"The MVP (Most Valuable Paste)": Move over, Gatorade—ketchup is the real MVP of the sports world. With its perfect blend of tomatoes, vinegar, and spices, it's the ultimate performance-enhancing condiment, guaranteed to take your game to the next level.
"The Slam Dunk Sauce": Athletes know that victory is all about the sauce, and ketchup is the ultimate slam dunk sauce. Whether you're dribbling on the court or dunking in the kitchen, a bottle of ketchup is sure to be your secret weapon for success.
"The Tomato Tango": Ketchup's tangy tomato goodness is like a salsa dance for your taste buds, energizing you with every sip. Just imagine the halftime show: athletes salsa-ing their way to victory with bottles of ketchup in hand.
"The Condiment Marathon": Forget about electrolyte drinks—athletes need a condiment marathon to refuel after a tough workout. With ketchup as the star player, runners can sprint to the finish line fueled by the power of tomatoes and vinegar.
"The Red Rocket Fuel": Ketchup's vibrant red color is like a rocket fuel for athletes, propelling them to new heights of performance. Plus, the added bonus of staining everything it touches ensures that your opponents will see you coming from a mile away.
"The MVP (Most Valuable Paste)": Move over, Gatorade—ketchup is the real MVP of the sports world. With its perfect blend of tomatoes, vinegar, and spices, it's the ultimate performance-enhancing condiment, guaranteed to take your game to the next level.
"The Slam Dunk Sauce": Athletes know that victory is all about the sauce, and ketchup is the ultimate slam dunk sauce. Whether you're dribbling on the court or dunking in the kitchen, a bottle of ketchup is sure to be your secret weapon for success.
