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8 months ago
Honesty works
If it works it works
Here are five humorous reasons to be creepily honest while flirting:
Cutting to the Chase: Why beat around the bush when you can dive headfirst into the deep end of honesty? Being creepily honest saves time and cuts through the awkward small talk, leaving more time for the good stuff—like discussing your mutual love of taxidermy or amateur taxidermy.
Embracing Your Inner Stalker: Who needs mystery when you can lay all your cards on the table from the get-go? By being creepily honest, you show your potential partner that you're not afraid to embrace your inner stalker and do a deep dive into their social media profiles before even saying hello.
Weeding Out the Weak: Being creepily honest is the ultimate litmus test for compatibility. If your potential partner can't handle your unfiltered truth bombs, then they probably wouldn't have been able to handle your collection of toenail clippings anyway.
Setting Realistic Expectations: Why pretend to be someone you're not when you can set the bar low right from the start? By being creepily honest about your quirks, flaws, and unusual hobbies, you ensure that there are no surprises down the road—except maybe for the occasional taxidermy-themed date night.
Creating Memorable Moments: Let's face it, nobody remembers the guy who played it safe with generic compliments and cheesy pick-up lines. By being creepily honest, you guarantee that your flirting will leave a lasting impression—even if it's the kind of impression that gets you banned from the local petting zoo.
Here are five humorous reasons to be creepily honest while flirting:
Cutting to the Chase: Why beat around the bush when you can dive headfirst into the deep end of honesty? Being creepily honest saves time and cuts through the awkward small talk, leaving more time for the good stuff—like discussing your mutual love of taxidermy or amateur taxidermy.
Embracing Your Inner Stalker: Who needs mystery when you can lay all your cards on the table from the get-go? By being creepily honest, you show your potential partner that you're not afraid to embrace your inner stalker and do a deep dive into their social media profiles before even saying hello.
Weeding Out the Weak: Being creepily honest is the ultimate litmus test for compatibility. If your potential partner can't handle your unfiltered truth bombs, then they probably wouldn't have been able to handle your collection of toenail clippings anyway.
Setting Realistic Expectations: Why pretend to be someone you're not when you can set the bar low right from the start? By being creepily honest about your quirks, flaws, and unusual hobbies, you ensure that there are no surprises down the road—except maybe for the occasional taxidermy-themed date night.
Creating Memorable Moments: Let's face it, nobody remembers the guy who played it safe with generic compliments and cheesy pick-up lines. By being creepily honest, you guarantee that your flirting will leave a lasting impression—even if it's the kind of impression that gets you banned from the local petting zoo.
5 months ago
5 months ago
8 months ago
A man and his simple hobby
Sometimes life is just about enjoying what you do but does it have purpose to it?
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
5 months ago
8 months ago
True and wholesome
Sometimes they're needed straight when you wake up and that should be normalized.But hey that's for more advanced users. Meanwhile we want to create the legal precedent that the first two drinks shouldn't count if you have anxiety!
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
5 months ago
