Register for a no ad experience.
11 months ago
A point we should remember
Not an excuse to be a dick though , but these are:
"I'm Just Keeping It Real: Because who needs filters or manners when you can hit 'em with the unfiltered truth? Sure, it stings a bit, but hey, honesty is the best policy...right?
"It's Not My Fault, It's Mercury Retrograde: Blame it on the cosmic alignment! When the planets are in disarray, so are my social graces. Sorry, not sorry—it's written in the stars!
"I'm a Trailblazer, Not a People-Pleaser: Some call it being assertive; others call it being downright rude. But hey, if I don't pave the way for honesty, who will?
"I'm Just a Sufferer of Chronic Resting B*tch Face: It's not intentional, I swear! My facial muscles just naturally default to 'unimpressed.' Don't take it personally...unless you want to.
"I'm Not Mean, I'm Just Misunderstood: Deep down, I'm like an onion—layers upon layers of complexity. Sure, the outer layer might make you cry, but it's all part of the journey to my inner sweetness."
"I'm Just Keeping It Real: Because who needs filters or manners when you can hit 'em with the unfiltered truth? Sure, it stings a bit, but hey, honesty is the best policy...right?
"It's Not My Fault, It's Mercury Retrograde: Blame it on the cosmic alignment! When the planets are in disarray, so are my social graces. Sorry, not sorry—it's written in the stars!
"I'm a Trailblazer, Not a People-Pleaser: Some call it being assertive; others call it being downright rude. But hey, if I don't pave the way for honesty, who will?
"I'm Just a Sufferer of Chronic Resting B*tch Face: It's not intentional, I swear! My facial muscles just naturally default to 'unimpressed.' Don't take it personally...unless you want to.
"I'm Not Mean, I'm Just Misunderstood: Deep down, I'm like an onion—layers upon layers of complexity. Sure, the outer layer might make you cry, but it's all part of the journey to my inner sweetness."
11 months ago
Don't do this to yourself
Just don't press enter and live in unaware bliss. But since all men need to hear this your penis is great King. Here's a few musings on why your penis is great and you should enjoy it:
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
It's the MVP of the Bedroom Olympics: Your penis deserves a gold medal for its outstanding performance in the marathon of love-making. It's like the Usain Bolt of boners—always ready to sprint to the finish line with record-breaking speed.
It's a Master of Camouflage: Your penis is a ninja in disguise, stealthily blending into its surroundings with expert precision. It's like having a secret agent in your pants—always ready to spring into action when duty calls.
It's a Stand-Up Comedy Sensation: Your penis has a knack for comedy, always delivering punchlines with perfect timing and impeccable delivery. It's like having a mini Kevin Hart in your trousers—ready to keep the laughs coming all night long.
It's a Generous Philanthropist: Your penis is a philanthropic hero, always willing to donate its time and energy to those in need. It's like the Mother Teresa of manhood—spreading joy and happiness wherever it goes.
It's a Musical Virtuoso: Your penis is a maestro of melody, capable of playing sweet symphonies of pleasure with every stroke and caress. It's like having a tiny Beethoven in your briefs—ready to compose a masterpiece of pleasure at a moment's notice.
9 months ago
9 months ago
11 months ago
Asking the real questions about ramen
Ramen and communism both make you think of hunger one is a solution the other a cause, here are some reasons ramen and communism go well together:
"Equal Parts Broth and Redistribution": Just like a perfectly balanced bowl of ramen, communism aims to distribute resources equally among all members of society. With every slurp of noodles, you're not just enjoying a delicious meal—you're embracing the spirit of economic egalitarianism!
"Noodle Nation Building": Much like the intricate process of building a flavorful ramen broth, communism seeks to build a strong, cohesive society through collective effort and shared resources. Who knew that a simple bowl of noodles could be so politically profound?
"The People's Pasta": In a communist utopia, everyone has access to the same basic necessities, including food. Ramen, with its humble origins as a staple food for the masses, embodies this principle perfectly. It's the ultimate comfort food for the proletariat!
"Revolutionary Ramen Revelry": Forget bourgeois cuisine—ramen is the food of the people! Whether you're sharing a bowl with comrades or fueling up for a long day of protest, nothing says "down with the establishment" quite like a steaming bowl of noodles.
"The Great Broth of China": Much like the Great Wall, ramen has a way of bringing people together across cultural and political divides. Whether you're in Beijing or Brooklyn, a love for noodles knows no bounds. It's the international symbol of culinary solidarity!
"Equal Parts Broth and Redistribution": Just like a perfectly balanced bowl of ramen, communism aims to distribute resources equally among all members of society. With every slurp of noodles, you're not just enjoying a delicious meal—you're embracing the spirit of economic egalitarianism!
"Noodle Nation Building": Much like the intricate process of building a flavorful ramen broth, communism seeks to build a strong, cohesive society through collective effort and shared resources. Who knew that a simple bowl of noodles could be so politically profound?
"The People's Pasta": In a communist utopia, everyone has access to the same basic necessities, including food. Ramen, with its humble origins as a staple food for the masses, embodies this principle perfectly. It's the ultimate comfort food for the proletariat!
"Revolutionary Ramen Revelry": Forget bourgeois cuisine—ramen is the food of the people! Whether you're sharing a bowl with comrades or fueling up for a long day of protest, nothing says "down with the establishment" quite like a steaming bowl of noodles.
"The Great Broth of China": Much like the Great Wall, ramen has a way of bringing people together across cultural and political divides. Whether you're in Beijing or Brooklyn, a love for noodles knows no bounds. It's the international symbol of culinary solidarity!
11 months ago
Super Mad Terrible Mother
Another person who's going to be put in a home at 53. But we're all about excuses here, maybe she has some good reasons? As a fellow person with an IQ as large as my shoe size I thought up of these totally valid reasons why you shouldn't share your onlyfans money with your kids:
"College Fund? More Like Fortnite Fund": Why waste your hard-earned OnlyFans money on boring stuff like college tuition when you could be investing in something truly important—like your kid's Fortnite skins collection? After all, who needs a degree when you can dominate the Battle Royale scene?
"The Tooth Fairy's Got Competition": Forget about loose change under the pillow—the real money maker in town is your OnlyFans account. Your kids will thank you for keeping the cash flow steady and the tooth fairy in business. Who knew dental hygiene could be so profitable?
"Parenting by Subscription": With your OnlyFans income, you can subscribe to the ultimate parenting plan: outsourcing all your responsibilities to the nearest daycare center. Let the professionals handle the diapers and tantrums while you focus on more important things—like perfecting your selfie game.
"The Ultimate Show-and-Tell Flex": Forget about boring show-and-tell presentations featuring stuffed animals and family photos. Your kids will be the envy of the playground when they strut their stuff with a brand-new iPhone, courtesy of your OnlyFans earnings. Who needs friends when you have the latest tech gadgets?
"The Real MVP: Mom's Versace Purse": Your kids may not appreciate it now, but one day they'll thank you for keeping up appearances with your designer handbags and luxury accessories. Who needs food on the table when you can have the latest fashion trends at your fingertips?
"College Fund? More Like Fortnite Fund": Why waste your hard-earned OnlyFans money on boring stuff like college tuition when you could be investing in something truly important—like your kid's Fortnite skins collection? After all, who needs a degree when you can dominate the Battle Royale scene?
"The Tooth Fairy's Got Competition": Forget about loose change under the pillow—the real money maker in town is your OnlyFans account. Your kids will thank you for keeping the cash flow steady and the tooth fairy in business. Who knew dental hygiene could be so profitable?
"Parenting by Subscription": With your OnlyFans income, you can subscribe to the ultimate parenting plan: outsourcing all your responsibilities to the nearest daycare center. Let the professionals handle the diapers and tantrums while you focus on more important things—like perfecting your selfie game.
"The Ultimate Show-and-Tell Flex": Forget about boring show-and-tell presentations featuring stuffed animals and family photos. Your kids will be the envy of the playground when they strut their stuff with a brand-new iPhone, courtesy of your OnlyFans earnings. Who needs friends when you have the latest tech gadgets?
"The Real MVP: Mom's Versace Purse": Your kids may not appreciate it now, but one day they'll thank you for keeping up appearances with your designer handbags and luxury accessories. Who needs food on the table when you can have the latest fashion trends at your fingertips?
