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10 months ago
A man and his simple hobby
Sometimes life is just about enjoying what you do but does it have purpose to it?
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
10 months ago
Every time someone rich gives financial advice
But it's because you spend money on coffee and avocado toast though. I'm obviously not rich, shocker right, so I was thinking maybe rich people should shut the fuck up regarding the stuff they say regarding WHY they are rich in the first place! Maybe don't patronize us poorys. here are a few reasons why the rich should shut the fuck up sometimes:
"The Trust Fund Tyrants": Hey, Mr. Moneybags, your financial advice is about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine. When your biggest concern is which diamond-studded watch to wear, the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to afford groceries. So how about you take a seat in your ivory tower and leave the real advice to those of us who actually have to work for a living?
"The Silver Spoon Sages": Listen up, Princess Prada, your financial wisdom is about as relevant as a snowplow in the Sahara. While you're busy sipping champagne on your private jet, the rest of us are struggling to make ends meet. Maybe instead of lecturing us about investments, you could try donating some of that excess cash to charity—assuming you even know what that word means.
"The Wealthy Whiners": Oh, boo-hoo, Mr. Moneybags, did your stock portfolio take a hit? Cry me a river, why don't you? While you're sulking in your penthouse suite, the rest of us are scraping by on minimum wage. So how about you spare us the sob story about your yacht maintenance fees and try living in the real world for once?
"The Greedy Goblins": Hey there, Scrooge McRich, ever hear of the phrase "money can't buy happiness"? Probably not, considering you've never had to worry about paying rent or affording healthcare. Maybe instead of hoarding your wealth like a dragon with its gold, you could try spreading some of that financial advice to those who actually need it—like, I don't know, the 99% of us who aren't swimming in gold coins.
"The Privileged Pricks": Newsflash, Richie Rich, your financial advice is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. When your idea of a financial struggle is deciding which summer home to vacation in, you might want to reconsider doling out advice to those of us who are just trying to make it to payday without overdrawing our bank accounts. So how about you take your trust fund and shove it where the sun don't shine?
"The Trust Fund Tyrants": Hey, Mr. Moneybags, your financial advice is about as helpful as a screen door on a submarine. When your biggest concern is which diamond-studded watch to wear, the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to afford groceries. So how about you take a seat in your ivory tower and leave the real advice to those of us who actually have to work for a living?
"The Silver Spoon Sages": Listen up, Princess Prada, your financial wisdom is about as relevant as a snowplow in the Sahara. While you're busy sipping champagne on your private jet, the rest of us are struggling to make ends meet. Maybe instead of lecturing us about investments, you could try donating some of that excess cash to charity—assuming you even know what that word means.
"The Wealthy Whiners": Oh, boo-hoo, Mr. Moneybags, did your stock portfolio take a hit? Cry me a river, why don't you? While you're sulking in your penthouse suite, the rest of us are scraping by on minimum wage. So how about you spare us the sob story about your yacht maintenance fees and try living in the real world for once?
"The Greedy Goblins": Hey there, Scrooge McRich, ever hear of the phrase "money can't buy happiness"? Probably not, considering you've never had to worry about paying rent or affording healthcare. Maybe instead of hoarding your wealth like a dragon with its gold, you could try spreading some of that financial advice to those who actually need it—like, I don't know, the 99% of us who aren't swimming in gold coins.
"The Privileged Pricks": Newsflash, Richie Rich, your financial advice is about as useful as a chocolate teapot. When your idea of a financial struggle is deciding which summer home to vacation in, you might want to reconsider doling out advice to those of us who are just trying to make it to payday without overdrawing our bank accounts. So how about you take your trust fund and shove it where the sun don't shine?
10 months ago
Dogs are smarter then we give them credit for
They absolutely can manipulate us. Because we're dumb? Maybe all we know is that dogs are smarter then all of us reading and writing this and here's a few reasons why:
The Fetch Fiasco: "Because while the dog's out there fetching sticks like a pro athlete, the reader's still trying to figure out why they threw the stick in the first place. It's like watching a game of fetch with a chess master and a checkers champ!"
The Paws for Thought: "Because while the dog's busy solving complex equations like 'Where's the nearest fire hydrant?', the reader's struggling with basic arithmetic like 'How many treats are in a dozen?' Hint: it's not 'a lot.'"
The Bark Brigade Brainwave: "Because while the dog's barking up the right tree to catch squirrels, the reader's still trying to figure out why they can't find their car keys in the fruit bowl. Spoiler alert: they're not fruits, and they don't belong there!"
The Tail-Wagging Takeover: "Because while the dog's mastered the art of diplomacy with the neighbor's cat, the reader's still arguing with their own reflection in the mirror. Who's the real 'good boy' here? Hint: not the one with the reflection."
The Canine Conundrum: "Because while the dog's got street smarts and knows all the neighborhood gossip, the reader's still trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on their takeout menu. Who needs a translator when you've got a furry friend with all the answers?"
The Fetch Fiasco: "Because while the dog's out there fetching sticks like a pro athlete, the reader's still trying to figure out why they threw the stick in the first place. It's like watching a game of fetch with a chess master and a checkers champ!"
The Paws for Thought: "Because while the dog's busy solving complex equations like 'Where's the nearest fire hydrant?', the reader's struggling with basic arithmetic like 'How many treats are in a dozen?' Hint: it's not 'a lot.'"
The Bark Brigade Brainwave: "Because while the dog's barking up the right tree to catch squirrels, the reader's still trying to figure out why they can't find their car keys in the fruit bowl. Spoiler alert: they're not fruits, and they don't belong there!"
The Tail-Wagging Takeover: "Because while the dog's mastered the art of diplomacy with the neighbor's cat, the reader's still arguing with their own reflection in the mirror. Who's the real 'good boy' here? Hint: not the one with the reflection."
The Canine Conundrum: "Because while the dog's got street smarts and knows all the neighborhood gossip, the reader's still trying to decipher the hieroglyphics on their takeout menu. Who needs a translator when you've got a furry friend with all the answers?"
