Register for a no ad experience.
8 months ago
But they ARE too bright
Time to write a short novel about it.
So I did, here are 5 ways to tell the pesky city council the darned street lights are too bright. Not90pages but this should do, I'm not made of keyboards ffs
"The Streetlights Are Giving Us 'Night Vision': It's like living in a perpetual solar eclipse! While we appreciate the effort to illuminate the streets, we're starting to suspect our neighbors are secretly aliens who thrive in blindingly bright conditions.
"The Stars Are Staging a Protest": Our local constellations are feeling a bit overshadowed lately. They're threatening to go on strike unless we dim the lights and give them back their rightful place in the night sky. Can't have Orion throwing a cosmic temper tantrum, can we?
"We've Adopted a 'Vampire-Friendly' Lifestyle": Thanks to the relentless glow of the streetlights, we've decided to embrace our inner creatures of the night. Garlic sales are through the roof, and we're all investing in capes and fake fangs. Who needs sleep when you can channel your inner Dracula?
"We're Hosting a Block-Wide Disco Party": The excessive brightness has inspired us to turn our neighborhood into the hottest dance floor this side of Studio 54. We've got disco balls, funky beats, and enough glitter to rival a '70s rock concert. All we need now is a dimmer switch for the streetlights to set the mood!
"We're Developing a New Superhero Origin Story": Forget radioactive spiders and gamma radiation—our neighborhood's newest superhero gains their powers from the blinding glare of the streetlights. It's like being bitten by a radioactive glow stick! Now if only we could figure out how to turn off the lights without accidentally triggering their secret identity reveal...
So I did, here are 5 ways to tell the pesky city council the darned street lights are too bright. Not90pages but this should do, I'm not made of keyboards ffs
"The Streetlights Are Giving Us 'Night Vision': It's like living in a perpetual solar eclipse! While we appreciate the effort to illuminate the streets, we're starting to suspect our neighbors are secretly aliens who thrive in blindingly bright conditions.
"The Stars Are Staging a Protest": Our local constellations are feeling a bit overshadowed lately. They're threatening to go on strike unless we dim the lights and give them back their rightful place in the night sky. Can't have Orion throwing a cosmic temper tantrum, can we?
"We've Adopted a 'Vampire-Friendly' Lifestyle": Thanks to the relentless glow of the streetlights, we've decided to embrace our inner creatures of the night. Garlic sales are through the roof, and we're all investing in capes and fake fangs. Who needs sleep when you can channel your inner Dracula?
"We're Hosting a Block-Wide Disco Party": The excessive brightness has inspired us to turn our neighborhood into the hottest dance floor this side of Studio 54. We've got disco balls, funky beats, and enough glitter to rival a '70s rock concert. All we need now is a dimmer switch for the streetlights to set the mood!
"We're Developing a New Superhero Origin Story": Forget radioactive spiders and gamma radiation—our neighborhood's newest superhero gains their powers from the blinding glare of the streetlights. It's like being bitten by a radioactive glow stick! Now if only we could figure out how to turn off the lights without accidentally triggering their secret identity reveal...
5 months ago
5 months ago
8 months ago
A man and his simple hobby
Sometimes life is just about enjoying what you do but does it have purpose to it?
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
5 months ago
8 months ago
True and wholesome
Sometimes they're needed straight when you wake up and that should be normalized.But hey that's for more advanced users. Meanwhile we want to create the legal precedent that the first two drinks shouldn't count if you have anxiety!
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
5 months ago
