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1 year ago
Australian food chain
The circle of life is just a weird shape in Australia.
We spruced it up to include dishes for human consumption, why should this cow get all the venom?
"Kangaroo Kickstart Surprise": A hearty kangaroo steak marinated in venomous snake sauce, served with a side of crocodile fritters and a 'Redback' spider web salad, guaranteed to give you a kick like a kangaroo in the outback.
"Shark Attack Sushi Roll": A daring dish featuring tiger shark nigiri, topped with spicy jellyfish tentacles and served with a side of 'Great Barrier Reef' seaweed salad. Just be sure to watch out for those sharp teeth!
"Dingo's Dinner Delight": A wild game platter featuring emu drumsticks, served with a side of diced Tasmanian devil chili and a 'Stingray Surprise' dipping sauce, sure to give you a taste of the Aussie outback.
"Crocodile Crunch Croissant": A flaky croissant stuffed with crispy crocodile tail meat, topped with diced saltwater crocodile eggs and a dollop of 'Saltwater Surprise' mayo. It's a snappy way to start your day!
"Box Jellyfish Jellybeans": A sweet and tangy dessert featuring jellybean-shaped candies infused with the essence of deadly box jellyfish, served with a side of 'Blue Ringed Octopus' parfait for a truly electrifying experience.
We spruced it up to include dishes for human consumption, why should this cow get all the venom?
"Kangaroo Kickstart Surprise": A hearty kangaroo steak marinated in venomous snake sauce, served with a side of crocodile fritters and a 'Redback' spider web salad, guaranteed to give you a kick like a kangaroo in the outback.
"Shark Attack Sushi Roll": A daring dish featuring tiger shark nigiri, topped with spicy jellyfish tentacles and served with a side of 'Great Barrier Reef' seaweed salad. Just be sure to watch out for those sharp teeth!
"Dingo's Dinner Delight": A wild game platter featuring emu drumsticks, served with a side of diced Tasmanian devil chili and a 'Stingray Surprise' dipping sauce, sure to give you a taste of the Aussie outback.
"Crocodile Crunch Croissant": A flaky croissant stuffed with crispy crocodile tail meat, topped with diced saltwater crocodile eggs and a dollop of 'Saltwater Surprise' mayo. It's a snappy way to start your day!
"Box Jellyfish Jellybeans": A sweet and tangy dessert featuring jellybean-shaped candies infused with the essence of deadly box jellyfish, served with a side of 'Blue Ringed Octopus' parfait for a truly electrifying experience.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Car guy behaviour
Thanks man really cool please drive me to my destination now, we don't care about your car here are 5 reasons why:
"The Yawn-Inducing Yaris Effect: Sure, your car may be your pride and joy, but to everyone else, it's just another mundane mode of transportation. No matter how many times you wax poetic about its impressive fuel efficiency or spacious cup holders, the response is always the same: a collective yawn and a polite nod of indifference.
"The Ego-Eclipsing SUV Syndrome: Your car may be big and bold, but so is everyone else's ego. No matter how many times you rev your engine or flaunt your oversized wheels, you're just another speck in a sea of oversized vehicles. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there's no room for bragging rights in the carpool lane.
"The Luxury Lemon Letdown: Ah, the sweet smell of leather upholstery and the satisfying click of a closing door—too bad it's all just a facade. Despite your best efforts to impress with your luxury vehicle, everyone sees through the charade and recognizes your car for what it truly is: a glorified lemon with a hefty price tag.
"The Attention-Deficit Accord Affliction: No matter how flashy your car may be, it's no match for the short attention spans of today's society. One moment you're the talk of the town with your sleek new ride, and the next, you're yesterday's news as everyone moves on to the next big thing. Sorry, but your fifteen minutes of automotive fame are up.
"The Envy-Inducing Ego Eraser: Congratulations, you've succeeded in making everyone else feel slightly better about their own subpar vehicles. Your incessant bragging about horsepower and torque has only served to highlight the glaring inadequacies of your personality, leaving everyone else feeling grateful for their humble rides and unassuming egos. Thanks for the reality check, champ.
"The Yawn-Inducing Yaris Effect: Sure, your car may be your pride and joy, but to everyone else, it's just another mundane mode of transportation. No matter how many times you wax poetic about its impressive fuel efficiency or spacious cup holders, the response is always the same: a collective yawn and a polite nod of indifference.
"The Ego-Eclipsing SUV Syndrome: Your car may be big and bold, but so is everyone else's ego. No matter how many times you rev your engine or flaunt your oversized wheels, you're just another speck in a sea of oversized vehicles. Sorry to burst your bubble, but there's no room for bragging rights in the carpool lane.
"The Luxury Lemon Letdown: Ah, the sweet smell of leather upholstery and the satisfying click of a closing door—too bad it's all just a facade. Despite your best efforts to impress with your luxury vehicle, everyone sees through the charade and recognizes your car for what it truly is: a glorified lemon with a hefty price tag.
"The Attention-Deficit Accord Affliction: No matter how flashy your car may be, it's no match for the short attention spans of today's society. One moment you're the talk of the town with your sleek new ride, and the next, you're yesterday's news as everyone moves on to the next big thing. Sorry, but your fifteen minutes of automotive fame are up.
"The Envy-Inducing Ego Eraser: Congratulations, you've succeeded in making everyone else feel slightly better about their own subpar vehicles. Your incessant bragging about horsepower and torque has only served to highlight the glaring inadequacies of your personality, leaving everyone else feeling grateful for their humble rides and unassuming egos. Thanks for the reality check, champ.
11 months ago
1 year ago
Got her good
If she's not finding a different nail guy she's impressed with his skill.
Emma we got you covered in this prank war with a few options for sweet revenge:
The Color Confusion: Call pretending to be a new customer, but express extreme confusion about nail colors. Ask questions like, "Do you have a shade called 'Moldy Avocado' or 'Rusty Toaster'? I'm going for that 'unique' look."
The Nervous Nibbler: Pretend to be a nervous customer calling to confirm your appointment. Then confess that you have a bad habit of biting your nails and ask if they can work with stubs. Keep the conversation going until you've painted a picture of a hilariously awkward situation.
The Exotic Request: Call and ask if they offer "animal-themed" nail art services. Describe elaborate designs like "penguin-print pinkies" or "giraffe-patterned thumbs," insisting that you're trying to match your pet's fur.
The Over-the-Top Fan: Call and pretend to be a die-hard fan of their nail work. Shower them with exaggerated compliments and insist on knowing their "nail secrets." Bonus points for asking if they can autograph your cuticles.
The Techno Troubles: Pretend to be a tech-savvy customer who mistakenly believes their nail salon offers "smart" nail services. Ask if they can install mini screens on your nails for watching movies or if they have a "nail Siri" feature for answering important life questions.
Emma we got you covered in this prank war with a few options for sweet revenge:
The Color Confusion: Call pretending to be a new customer, but express extreme confusion about nail colors. Ask questions like, "Do you have a shade called 'Moldy Avocado' or 'Rusty Toaster'? I'm going for that 'unique' look."
The Nervous Nibbler: Pretend to be a nervous customer calling to confirm your appointment. Then confess that you have a bad habit of biting your nails and ask if they can work with stubs. Keep the conversation going until you've painted a picture of a hilariously awkward situation.
The Exotic Request: Call and ask if they offer "animal-themed" nail art services. Describe elaborate designs like "penguin-print pinkies" or "giraffe-patterned thumbs," insisting that you're trying to match your pet's fur.
The Over-the-Top Fan: Call and pretend to be a die-hard fan of their nail work. Shower them with exaggerated compliments and insist on knowing their "nail secrets." Bonus points for asking if they can autograph your cuticles.
The Techno Troubles: Pretend to be a tech-savvy customer who mistakenly believes their nail salon offers "smart" nail services. Ask if they can install mini screens on your nails for watching movies or if they have a "nail Siri" feature for answering important life questions.
1 year ago
Awesome compliment
Just don't burst his bubble.
Here are five humorous reasons why your husband might be happy to get catcalled:
"The Ego Boosting Feline Flattery": Every time he gets catcalled, it's like a little ego massage for his self-esteem. Who needs compliments from strangers when you can have construction workers shouting appreciative remarks about your hubby's fashion choices?
"The Catwalk Confidence": Getting catcalled is like strutting down the runway of life with confidence and style. It's the ultimate validation that your husband's got it going on, and the world can't help but take notice of his fabulousness.
"The Street-Side Serenade": Instead of feeling harassed, your husband sees catcalling as a quirky form of urban karaoke. Every whistle, honk, and "Hey there, handsome!" is just another verse in the symphony of city life, and he's the star of the show.
"The Flirtatious Fish in a Sea of Compliments": Catcalling is like being a fish in a sea of compliments, and your husband is swimming laps in the compliments pool. With every wolf whistle and suggestive remark, he's reeling in the flattery and basking in the attention.
"The Comedic Catcall Conundrum": Instead of taking catcalling seriously, your husband sees it as a comedy routine performed by amateur comedians with questionable taste. Every crude remark is like a punchline waiting for the perfect comeback, and your husband is the king of quick wit.
Here are five humorous reasons why your husband might be happy to get catcalled:
"The Ego Boosting Feline Flattery": Every time he gets catcalled, it's like a little ego massage for his self-esteem. Who needs compliments from strangers when you can have construction workers shouting appreciative remarks about your hubby's fashion choices?
"The Catwalk Confidence": Getting catcalled is like strutting down the runway of life with confidence and style. It's the ultimate validation that your husband's got it going on, and the world can't help but take notice of his fabulousness.
"The Street-Side Serenade": Instead of feeling harassed, your husband sees catcalling as a quirky form of urban karaoke. Every whistle, honk, and "Hey there, handsome!" is just another verse in the symphony of city life, and he's the star of the show.
"The Flirtatious Fish in a Sea of Compliments": Catcalling is like being a fish in a sea of compliments, and your husband is swimming laps in the compliments pool. With every wolf whistle and suggestive remark, he's reeling in the flattery and basking in the attention.
"The Comedic Catcall Conundrum": Instead of taking catcalling seriously, your husband sees it as a comedy routine performed by amateur comedians with questionable taste. Every crude remark is like a punchline waiting for the perfect comeback, and your husband is the king of quick wit.
1 year ago
I will never financially recover
99$ for a three piece meal with small fries, here are a few other pocket breaking menu items making sure you need a second mortgage to go with your movie meal:
"Microwave Popcorn: Now with the added luxury tax for that authentic 'cinematic crunch' experience. Enjoy your kernels of gold!"
"Tap Water: Filtered through diamond-encrusted faucets for that extra sparkle. Hydration has never been so exclusive!"
"Candy Corn: Each kernel individually hand-carved by artisanal candy sculptors. Sweetness has never been this pretentious!"
"Gummy Bears: Infused with unicorn tears and rainbow essence for that extra burst of magic. Each bear is like a tiny, chewy piece of fantasy!"
"Paper Napkins: Made from the finest silk threads harvested from rare, endangered silk worms. Absorbency has never felt so luxurious!"
"Microwave Popcorn: Now with the added luxury tax for that authentic 'cinematic crunch' experience. Enjoy your kernels of gold!"
"Tap Water: Filtered through diamond-encrusted faucets for that extra sparkle. Hydration has never been so exclusive!"
"Candy Corn: Each kernel individually hand-carved by artisanal candy sculptors. Sweetness has never been this pretentious!"
"Gummy Bears: Infused with unicorn tears and rainbow essence for that extra burst of magic. Each bear is like a tiny, chewy piece of fantasy!"
"Paper Napkins: Made from the finest silk threads harvested from rare, endangered silk worms. Absorbency has never felt so luxurious!"
