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8 months ago
A sad story in two posts
He then proceed to be gluten intolerant.
Only gamble if you can afford losing the money and are able to stop, here are 5 reasons why:
"Math, Schmath": Ever noticed how casinos don't have windows or clocks? That's because time is a concept that doesn't exist when you're on a losing streak. Meanwhile, the house's edge keeps ticking away like a sinister metronome, ensuring your wallet stays light and your spirits dim.
"Jackpot Schmackpot": Sure, winning big sounds great until you realize that for every jackpot, there are a million near misses. It's like being teased by a carrot on a stick—except the carrot is made of pure gold and the stick is your rapidly dwindling bank account.
"Lady Luck's Sense of Humor": Ever wonder why the person next to you always seems to hit the jackpot while you're left clutching a handful of losing tickets? It's because Lady Luck has a wicked sense of humor, and she's using you as her personal punchline.
"The Mirage of Choice": From slot machines to blackjack tables, the casino floor is a smorgasbord of temptation designed to lure you in with promises of riches. But don't be fooled—every game is just a different flavor of disappointment, served with a side of regret.
"The Curse of the Compulsive Gambler": Statistically speaking, the odds are stacked against you—but hey, at least you're in good company! Join the ranks of the millions of gamblers who keep coming back for more, chasing that elusive win like a cat chasing its own tail. Just remember: the house always wins, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride (even if it's straight off a financial cliff).
Only gamble if you can afford losing the money and are able to stop, here are 5 reasons why:
"Math, Schmath": Ever noticed how casinos don't have windows or clocks? That's because time is a concept that doesn't exist when you're on a losing streak. Meanwhile, the house's edge keeps ticking away like a sinister metronome, ensuring your wallet stays light and your spirits dim.
"Jackpot Schmackpot": Sure, winning big sounds great until you realize that for every jackpot, there are a million near misses. It's like being teased by a carrot on a stick—except the carrot is made of pure gold and the stick is your rapidly dwindling bank account.
"Lady Luck's Sense of Humor": Ever wonder why the person next to you always seems to hit the jackpot while you're left clutching a handful of losing tickets? It's because Lady Luck has a wicked sense of humor, and she's using you as her personal punchline.
"The Mirage of Choice": From slot machines to blackjack tables, the casino floor is a smorgasbord of temptation designed to lure you in with promises of riches. But don't be fooled—every game is just a different flavor of disappointment, served with a side of regret.
"The Curse of the Compulsive Gambler": Statistically speaking, the odds are stacked against you—but hey, at least you're in good company! Join the ranks of the millions of gamblers who keep coming back for more, chasing that elusive win like a cat chasing its own tail. Just remember: the house always wins, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy the ride (even if it's straight off a financial cliff).
5 months ago
5 months ago
8 months ago
A man and his simple hobby
Sometimes life is just about enjoying what you do but does it have purpose to it?
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
We racked our brains searching for any practical excuses an old timey villain might give for this certain trope:
"It's the Only Railroad with a Timely Rescue Package": Why bother with complicated ransom notes when you can simply tie someone to the tracks and let the locomotive come to the rescue? It's like a fast-track delivery service for damsels in distress!
"Trying to Train My Pet Snake": Who knew that snake charming could be so literal? Tying someone to the tracks is just the first step in teaching your slithery sidekick to strike on cue. All aboard the express train to reptilian obedience!
"Performance Art Gone Wrong": In an attempt to add a dramatic flair to the local theater scene, our villain accidentally misinterpreted the concept of 'tying up loose ends.' The critics might not be impressed, but at least the audience is on the edge of their seats!
"Stealing the Show": What better way to upstage the hero than by orchestrating a classic damsel-in-distress scenario? It's not about the ransom money—it's about stealing the spotlight and cementing your status as the ultimate villainous scene-stealer.
"Extreme Team-Building Exercise": Who needs trust falls when you can bond over a shared perilous experience? Tying someone to the tracks is the ultimate test of teamwork and communication skills. Plus, it's a real adrenaline rush for all involved—assuming they survive, of course!
5 months ago
8 months ago
True and wholesome
Sometimes they're needed straight when you wake up and that should be normalized.But hey that's for more advanced users. Meanwhile we want to create the legal precedent that the first two drinks shouldn't count if you have anxiety!
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
Here are some reasons:
"The Anxiety Annihilation Aperitif": The first two drinks are like anxiety's worst nightmare—liquid kryptonite that sends your worries packing faster than you can say "shots, anyone?"
"The Boozy Blame Game": If anyone asks, the first two drinks were clearly the work of mischievous imps who snuck into the bar and spiked your soda. You're innocent, they're guilty, case closed!
"The Tipsy Time Travel Trick": With the first two drinks, time warps into a surreal dimension where awkward conversations and social gaffes are just hilarious anecdotes waiting to happen. Who knew alcohol was a time machine in disguise?
"The Liquid Laughing Gas": The first two drinks unlock the secret to eternal laughter, turning even the most mundane conversations into sidesplitting comedy routines. You'll be giggling like a tipsy toddler in no time!
"The Anxiety Antidote Ambush": Anxiety never saw it coming—the one-two punch of alcohol's liquid courage and contagious camaraderie. With the first two drinks, you're like a stealthy ninja, sneaking up on stress and giving it a swift kick in the keister.
5 months ago
