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10 months ago
Every safety brief is someone who was dumb before
Reading all instructions on products and imagining why they're there.
Here are five more humorous real-life human actions that led to products having warning labels:
"The "Don't Use Chainsaw as a Toy" Catastrophe": It's hard to believe, but there have been cases where individuals attempted to use chainsaws as playthings, leading to injuries and even more bizarrely, damaged property. Chainsaws now come with warnings like "Do not use for cutting objects other than wood," because apparently, some people need to be reminded that chainsaws are not toys.
"The "Don't Stick Fingers in Toaster" Debacle": Despite the obvious danger, there have been instances where people tried to retrieve toast from a toaster using their fingers, resulting in burns and singed digits. Toasters now come with warnings advising against this dangerous practice, because apparently, some people need to be told not to play with fire.
"The "Don't Dry Pet in Microwave" Dilemma": In an act of sheer absurdity, some pet owners attempted to dry their wet pets in the microwave, leading to injuries and traumatized animals. Microwaves now come with warnings explicitly stating "Do not use to dry pets," because apparently, some people need to be reminded that microwaves are for food, not furry friends.
"The "Don't Stand on Toilets" Blunder": Despite being designed for sitting, there have been cases where individuals attempted to stand on toilets for various reasons, resulting in falls and broken fixtures. Toilet manufacturers now include warnings like "Do not stand on toilet seat," because apparently, some people need to be told how to use basic bathroom facilities.
"The "Don't Drink Liquid Soap" Fiasco": In a moment of confusion, some individuals mistook liquid soap for a beverage and attempted to drink it, leading to gastrointestinal discomfort and embarrassment. Liquid soap bottles now come with warnings advising against ingestion, because apparently, some people need to be reminded that soap is for washing, not drinking.
Here are five more humorous real-life human actions that led to products having warning labels:
"The "Don't Use Chainsaw as a Toy" Catastrophe": It's hard to believe, but there have been cases where individuals attempted to use chainsaws as playthings, leading to injuries and even more bizarrely, damaged property. Chainsaws now come with warnings like "Do not use for cutting objects other than wood," because apparently, some people need to be reminded that chainsaws are not toys.
"The "Don't Stick Fingers in Toaster" Debacle": Despite the obvious danger, there have been instances where people tried to retrieve toast from a toaster using their fingers, resulting in burns and singed digits. Toasters now come with warnings advising against this dangerous practice, because apparently, some people need to be told not to play with fire.
"The "Don't Dry Pet in Microwave" Dilemma": In an act of sheer absurdity, some pet owners attempted to dry their wet pets in the microwave, leading to injuries and traumatized animals. Microwaves now come with warnings explicitly stating "Do not use to dry pets," because apparently, some people need to be reminded that microwaves are for food, not furry friends.
"The "Don't Stand on Toilets" Blunder": Despite being designed for sitting, there have been cases where individuals attempted to stand on toilets for various reasons, resulting in falls and broken fixtures. Toilet manufacturers now include warnings like "Do not stand on toilet seat," because apparently, some people need to be told how to use basic bathroom facilities.
"The "Don't Drink Liquid Soap" Fiasco": In a moment of confusion, some individuals mistook liquid soap for a beverage and attempted to drink it, leading to gastrointestinal discomfort and embarrassment. Liquid soap bottles now come with warnings advising against ingestion, because apparently, some people need to be reminded that soap is for washing, not drinking.
7 months ago
10 months ago
A strategic misstep
She probably suspects way worse now. I asked our intern Kyle to write 5 possible stories but since he's spent like 7 years in the bighouse they all came out jail related.
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
