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10 months ago
I'm a cat so i wouldn't know
But i'd assume they do.
Everyone wants to be a hero here are some scenarios we cam up with:
"The Avalanche Avoision": While skiing, you notice a group of fellow skiers buried in an avalanche. Utilizing your trusty snowboard, you perform a series of gravity-defying tricks down the mountain, creating a snowstorm of epic proportions that covers the avalanche and transforms it into the world's largest snow cone. As everyone enjoys the impromptu dessert, you're hailed as the "Snowboard Savant" and earn free lift tickets for life. And as a bonus, you suggest they add some yellow snow for extra flavor.
"The Burning Bungalow Bouncer": Spotting smoke from a nearby apartment building, you charge into action armed with a fire extinguisher and a superhero cape made of flame-resistant fabric softener sheets. Bursting through the door like a one-person fire brigade, you quench the flames with a single blast from the extinguisher and lead the residents to safety, all while belting out a rendition of "I Will Survive." You're hailed as the "Disco Inferno Defender" and receive VIP access to all fire safety seminars. And you make sure to leave behind a trail of toilet paper streamers as you exit, just for laughs.
"The River Rapids Rascal": Hearing cries for help from the river, you leap into action and execute a flawless cannonball dive, creating a tidal wave that propels the struggling swimmer safely to shore. As you emerge from the water, you strike a pose reminiscent of a Baywatch lifeguard, complete with slow-motion hair flip and dramatic music. The grateful swimmer dubs you the "Aquatic Avenger" and offers to be your personal water taxi for life. And you offer them a snorkel and goggles, just in case they need to take care of business while in the water.
"The Gas Leak Giggle Getter": Detecting the scent of natural gas, you don a gas mask and venture into the house, armed with a giant cork and a can of beans (for obvious reasons). With a swift motion, you plug the gas leak with the cork and unleash a symphony of flatulence to dissipate any remaining gas fumes. Residents emerge from their homes giggling uncontrollably, dubbing you the "Flatulent Fixer" and inviting you to their next barbecue. And you make sure to leave behind a scented candle to mask any lingering odors.
"The Sinking Ship Shenanigator": As the cruise ship takes on water, you don a snorkel, flippers, and a Hawaiian shirt, transforming into the "Tropical Tourist Titan." Using inflatable pool toys as flotation devices, you lead passengers in a synchronized swimming routine to the safety of the lifeboats, all while serenading them with sea shanties and handing out complimentary sunscreen. Your nautical antics earn you the title of "Captain Comic Relief" and an honorary membership in the International Society of Silly Sailors. And you make sure to bring along a rubber duckie to keep everyone entertained during the rescue.
Everyone wants to be a hero here are some scenarios we cam up with:
"The Avalanche Avoision": While skiing, you notice a group of fellow skiers buried in an avalanche. Utilizing your trusty snowboard, you perform a series of gravity-defying tricks down the mountain, creating a snowstorm of epic proportions that covers the avalanche and transforms it into the world's largest snow cone. As everyone enjoys the impromptu dessert, you're hailed as the "Snowboard Savant" and earn free lift tickets for life. And as a bonus, you suggest they add some yellow snow for extra flavor.
"The Burning Bungalow Bouncer": Spotting smoke from a nearby apartment building, you charge into action armed with a fire extinguisher and a superhero cape made of flame-resistant fabric softener sheets. Bursting through the door like a one-person fire brigade, you quench the flames with a single blast from the extinguisher and lead the residents to safety, all while belting out a rendition of "I Will Survive." You're hailed as the "Disco Inferno Defender" and receive VIP access to all fire safety seminars. And you make sure to leave behind a trail of toilet paper streamers as you exit, just for laughs.
"The River Rapids Rascal": Hearing cries for help from the river, you leap into action and execute a flawless cannonball dive, creating a tidal wave that propels the struggling swimmer safely to shore. As you emerge from the water, you strike a pose reminiscent of a Baywatch lifeguard, complete with slow-motion hair flip and dramatic music. The grateful swimmer dubs you the "Aquatic Avenger" and offers to be your personal water taxi for life. And you offer them a snorkel and goggles, just in case they need to take care of business while in the water.
"The Gas Leak Giggle Getter": Detecting the scent of natural gas, you don a gas mask and venture into the house, armed with a giant cork and a can of beans (for obvious reasons). With a swift motion, you plug the gas leak with the cork and unleash a symphony of flatulence to dissipate any remaining gas fumes. Residents emerge from their homes giggling uncontrollably, dubbing you the "Flatulent Fixer" and inviting you to their next barbecue. And you make sure to leave behind a scented candle to mask any lingering odors.
"The Sinking Ship Shenanigator": As the cruise ship takes on water, you don a snorkel, flippers, and a Hawaiian shirt, transforming into the "Tropical Tourist Titan." Using inflatable pool toys as flotation devices, you lead passengers in a synchronized swimming routine to the safety of the lifeboats, all while serenading them with sea shanties and handing out complimentary sunscreen. Your nautical antics earn you the title of "Captain Comic Relief" and an honorary membership in the International Society of Silly Sailors. And you make sure to bring along a rubber duckie to keep everyone entertained during the rescue.
7 months ago
10 months ago
A strategic misstep
She probably suspects way worse now. I asked our intern Kyle to write 5 possible stories but since he's spent like 7 years in the bighouse they all came out jail related.
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
Yes we hire ex-cons take that ESG scores!
"The Mastermind Mishap": You were once known as the infamous "Socks Bandit" for stealing pairs of socks from every laundromat in town. Your girlfriend might think twice about leaving her favorite socks unattended now!
"The Great Escape Episode": You were briefly incarcerated for attempting to break out of an amusement park haunted house because you were convinced it was a real prison. Your girlfriend might worry about your problem-solving skills (or lack thereof) in sticky situations.
"The Celebrity Cellmate Caper": You once claimed to have been cellmates with a famous celebrity during your brief stint in jail, only to later admit it was just a cardboard cutout of them in the visitor's room. Your girlfriend might question your grasp on reality (and your taste in friends).
"The Tattoo Taboo": You got a tattoo in jail of your favorite cartoon character, only to realize too late that it was misspelled. Your girlfriend might wonder if you're still struggling with basic literacy (or just have a questionable taste in body art).
"The Prison Performance Ploy": You were briefly known as the "Singing Serenader" for your attempts to start a jailhouse boy band. Your girlfriend might be concerned about your career aspirations (and your singing voice).
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
7 months ago
