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2 years ago
Drive to Alabama for meth
Stay because you sold your car for meth.
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
2 years ago
Return to Monke
Hell yeah! That's the only response to seeing this. Not gender specific mind you. Everyone should say Hell yeah and here's a few reasons why:
"The Primate Party Starter": "Seeing a monkey rocking shades is like nature's way of saying, 'Let the party begin!' It's impossible not to respond with a resounding 'Hell yeah' when you're faced with such undeniable swagger. Who knew our simian friends were such trendsetters?"
"The Coolness Quotient Quadrupled": "When a monkey throws on a pair of sunglasses, it's like they've unlocked a whole new level of coolness. Suddenly, they go from ordinary primate to the James Bond of the jungle, and you can't help but cheer them on with a hearty 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Simian Style Statement": "Monkeys in sunglasses are the epitome of effortless style. Whether they're lounging in the sun or swinging through the trees, they exude a level of cool that's impossible to ignore. It's like they're saying, 'I may be a monkey, but I'm also a fashion icon,' and you can't help but agree with a loud 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Primate Pizzazz Parade": "Let's face it, monkeys wearing sunglasses are just plain funny. There's something inherently hilarious about seeing our furry friends embrace their inner fashionista, and you can't help but join in the fun with a raucous 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Ape-tastic Attitude Adjustment": "In a world full of chaos and uncertainty, sometimes all you need is a monkey in sunglasses to remind you that life is meant to be enjoyed. Their carefree attitude and undeniable style are infectious, prompting even the grumpiest of souls to shout 'Hell yeah!' in appreciation."
"The Primate Party Starter": "Seeing a monkey rocking shades is like nature's way of saying, 'Let the party begin!' It's impossible not to respond with a resounding 'Hell yeah' when you're faced with such undeniable swagger. Who knew our simian friends were such trendsetters?"
"The Coolness Quotient Quadrupled": "When a monkey throws on a pair of sunglasses, it's like they've unlocked a whole new level of coolness. Suddenly, they go from ordinary primate to the James Bond of the jungle, and you can't help but cheer them on with a hearty 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Simian Style Statement": "Monkeys in sunglasses are the epitome of effortless style. Whether they're lounging in the sun or swinging through the trees, they exude a level of cool that's impossible to ignore. It's like they're saying, 'I may be a monkey, but I'm also a fashion icon,' and you can't help but agree with a loud 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Primate Pizzazz Parade": "Let's face it, monkeys wearing sunglasses are just plain funny. There's something inherently hilarious about seeing our furry friends embrace their inner fashionista, and you can't help but join in the fun with a raucous 'Hell yeah!'"
"The Ape-tastic Attitude Adjustment": "In a world full of chaos and uncertainty, sometimes all you need is a monkey in sunglasses to remind you that life is meant to be enjoyed. Their carefree attitude and undeniable style are infectious, prompting even the grumpiest of souls to shout 'Hell yeah!' in appreciation."
2 years ago
Drive to Alabama for meth
Stay because you sold your car for meth.
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
We recommend feeding your kids over spending the money on meth, here are 5 reasons why:
"Your kids won't try to sell the food to buy more food."
"Feeding your kids leads to delightful family dinners, while meth dinners tend to be more... solitary affairs."
"The only 'withdrawal symptoms' from not feeding your kids might be some adorable puppy-dog eyes, whereas skipping meth could lead to, well, let's just say less cute outcomes."
"Feeding your kids provides endless opportunities for culinary adventures and picky-eater negotiations, whereas meth just provides... a different kind of adventure, but with significantly less flavor."
"Investing in your kids' nutrition now might just save you money on therapy bills later. Meanwhile, investing in meth... well, let's just say it's not exactly a sound long-term investment plan."
2 years ago
No opinion mentioned
Just a neurotic text message to his dentist. We recommend not discussing world politics with your dentist though. The gnomes in my basement texted me these reasons last night:
"The Flossing-Foreign Policy Paradox": Discussing international politics with your dentist may lead to a heated debate about the most effective foreign policy—while your mouth is wide open and full of dental tools. It's hard to floss when you're busy debating the nuances of diplomacy.
"The Root Canal Realpolitik": Your dentist might be more focused on drilling into your molars than debating global affairs. Attempting to discuss international politics mid-procedure could result in some unintended consequences—like a novocaine-induced rant about geopolitics.
"The Cavity-CIA Conspiracy": Your dentist may suspect that your interest in international politics is just a cover for gathering intelligence on their dental practice. Attempting to engage in a discussion about global affairs could result in them filling your head with more than just fluoride.
"The Plaque-Propaganda Paradox": Your dentist might have strong opinions about international politics, but they're too busy scraping plaque off your teeth to share them. Attempting to discuss global affairs could lead to some awkward moments—like trying to respond to a question with a mouthful of dental instruments.
"The Mouthguard-Militarism Mishap": Your dentist might be more interested in protecting your teeth than discussing international conflict. Attempting to engage them in a debate about geopolitics could lead to them recommending a mouthguard to protect against the grinding of teeth—yours and theirs.
"The Flossing-Foreign Policy Paradox": Discussing international politics with your dentist may lead to a heated debate about the most effective foreign policy—while your mouth is wide open and full of dental tools. It's hard to floss when you're busy debating the nuances of diplomacy.
"The Root Canal Realpolitik": Your dentist might be more focused on drilling into your molars than debating global affairs. Attempting to discuss international politics mid-procedure could result in some unintended consequences—like a novocaine-induced rant about geopolitics.
"The Cavity-CIA Conspiracy": Your dentist may suspect that your interest in international politics is just a cover for gathering intelligence on their dental practice. Attempting to engage in a discussion about global affairs could result in them filling your head with more than just fluoride.
"The Plaque-Propaganda Paradox": Your dentist might have strong opinions about international politics, but they're too busy scraping plaque off your teeth to share them. Attempting to discuss global affairs could lead to some awkward moments—like trying to respond to a question with a mouthful of dental instruments.
"The Mouthguard-Militarism Mishap": Your dentist might be more interested in protecting your teeth than discussing international conflict. Attempting to engage them in a debate about geopolitics could lead to them recommending a mouthguard to protect against the grinding of teeth—yours and theirs.
2 years ago
2 years ago
2 years ago
