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11 months ago
Ignore the red flags at your own peril
This one is also a fail and because it is we're giving you 5 reasons why you shouldn't get your crazy stalker ex pregnant:
"Because your family tree shouldn't resemble a horror movie sequel—'The Stalker Strikes Back!'"
"Because 'baby daddy drama' should not be a recurring theme in your life—unless you're auditioning for a reality TV show."
"Because the only baby shower gift you'll need is a panic room installation kit."
"Because explaining to your child why they have three locks on their bedroom door might be a tad awkward."
"Because 'shotgun wedding' shouldn't be taken so literally—you've dodged enough bullets already!"
"Because your family tree shouldn't resemble a horror movie sequel—'The Stalker Strikes Back!'"
"Because 'baby daddy drama' should not be a recurring theme in your life—unless you're auditioning for a reality TV show."
"Because the only baby shower gift you'll need is a panic room installation kit."
"Because explaining to your child why they have three locks on their bedroom door might be a tad awkward."
"Because 'shotgun wedding' shouldn't be taken so literally—you've dodged enough bullets already!"
8 months ago
8 months ago
8 months ago
11 months ago
Wholesome grandpa
Sometimes the wold isn't as bad as we think!
Here have some REAL examples of senior citizens being wholesome! It's not all Karen's and Home Owner Associations out there:
"Grandma's Viral Dance Moves": A video of an elderly woman dancing to a popular song in her living room goes viral, spreading joy and laughter across the internet. Her infectious energy and enthusiastic moves inspire viewers of all ages to get up and dance, proving that age is just a number when it comes to having fun.
"Grandpa's DIY Bird Feeder": An elderly man crafts intricate bird feeders out of recycled materials and installs them in his backyard. Not only does he attract a variety of colorful birds to his garden, but he also becomes a local celebrity as neighbors stop by to admire his handiwork and learn his secret to birdwatching success.
"Senior Citizen's Random Acts of Kindness": A retiree spends his days performing random acts of kindness around his neighborhood, from baking cookies for local firefighters to leaving uplifting notes on park benches. His small gestures of generosity inspire others to spread kindness wherever they go, proving that even the smallest actions can make a big difference in someone's day.
"Grandma's Hilarious Social Media Posts": An elderly woman discovers the world of social media and begins sharing humorous anecdotes and selfies with her grandchildren. Her witty captions and candid photos quickly gain a following online, earning her the title of "Instagram Grandma" and proving that you're never too old to embrace new technology.
"Grandpa's Epic Pranks": An elderly man becomes known for his playful sense of humor and penchant for pulling elaborate pranks on his family and friends. From fake spiders in the cookie jar to whoopee cushions on the sofa, his mischievous antics keep everyone on their toes and remind them to never take life too seriously, no matter their age.
Here have some REAL examples of senior citizens being wholesome! It's not all Karen's and Home Owner Associations out there:
"Grandma's Viral Dance Moves": A video of an elderly woman dancing to a popular song in her living room goes viral, spreading joy and laughter across the internet. Her infectious energy and enthusiastic moves inspire viewers of all ages to get up and dance, proving that age is just a number when it comes to having fun.
"Grandpa's DIY Bird Feeder": An elderly man crafts intricate bird feeders out of recycled materials and installs them in his backyard. Not only does he attract a variety of colorful birds to his garden, but he also becomes a local celebrity as neighbors stop by to admire his handiwork and learn his secret to birdwatching success.
"Senior Citizen's Random Acts of Kindness": A retiree spends his days performing random acts of kindness around his neighborhood, from baking cookies for local firefighters to leaving uplifting notes on park benches. His small gestures of generosity inspire others to spread kindness wherever they go, proving that even the smallest actions can make a big difference in someone's day.
"Grandma's Hilarious Social Media Posts": An elderly woman discovers the world of social media and begins sharing humorous anecdotes and selfies with her grandchildren. Her witty captions and candid photos quickly gain a following online, earning her the title of "Instagram Grandma" and proving that you're never too old to embrace new technology.
"Grandpa's Epic Pranks": An elderly man becomes known for his playful sense of humor and penchant for pulling elaborate pranks on his family and friends. From fake spiders in the cookie jar to whoopee cushions on the sofa, his mischievous antics keep everyone on their toes and remind them to never take life too seriously, no matter their age.
11 months ago
We're on it shitlips
This was one of the best tropes used in 90s animations and i use to love it
We've invented a few of our own for everybody's amusement
"Listen up, Captain Cockup, my apologies for any disrespect. Your brilliance surely conceals a plan beyond my meager understanding."
"Baron Blunderbrain, forgive my impudence. Your schemes are undoubtedly superior, and I am but a lowly minion awaiting your divine instruction."
"Major Moron, please excuse my audacity. Your strategic prowess is unmatched, and I am but a humble servant at your disposal."
"Dr. Dunderhead, I mean no offense. Your malevolent laughter surely heralds a stroke of genius, and I am privileged to serve under your command."
"General Goon, forgive my insolence. Your leadership reigns supreme, and I am but a devoted lackey awaiting your every beck and call."
We've invented a few of our own for everybody's amusement
"Listen up, Captain Cockup, my apologies for any disrespect. Your brilliance surely conceals a plan beyond my meager understanding."
"Baron Blunderbrain, forgive my impudence. Your schemes are undoubtedly superior, and I am but a lowly minion awaiting your divine instruction."
"Major Moron, please excuse my audacity. Your strategic prowess is unmatched, and I am but a humble servant at your disposal."
"Dr. Dunderhead, I mean no offense. Your malevolent laughter surely heralds a stroke of genius, and I am privileged to serve under your command."
"General Goon, forgive my insolence. Your leadership reigns supreme, and I am but a devoted lackey awaiting your every beck and call."
11 months ago
The Central Bureaucracy from Futurama
The winner of the not my job award goes to that clerk. The DMV what a place! As a person who's never been to one I only hears legends of this magnificent fun and relaxing government run spa. Here are some :
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
"The Waiting Room Spa Experience": Forget about stressful waiting rooms—this DMV offers complimentary massages, cucumber eye masks, and soothing aromatherapy to ease your DMV-induced tension. Who knew renewing your driver's license could be so relaxing?
"License to Chill": Instead of enduring long lines and grumpy clerks, this DMV encourages visitors to kick back and relax in their state-of-the-art lounge area. With reclining chairs, cozy blankets, and a bottomless supply of hot cocoa, you'll be tempted to extend your stay indefinitely.
"Personalized Serenades While You Wait": Say goodbye to boring elevator music—this DMV boasts live musical performances from local talent while you wait. From soothing jazz to upbeat pop hits, you'll be tapping your toes and humming along as you renew your registration.
"DIY Car Maintenance Workshops": Tired of shelling out big bucks for routine car maintenance? This DMV offers free DIY workshops where you can learn to change your oil, rotate your tires, and perform basic repairs—all while waiting for your number to be called. It's like a grease monkey's paradise!
"Celebrity Sightings Galore": You never know who you'll run into at this DMV—celebrities, politicians, even the occasional superhero. With paparazzi lurking around every corner, you'll feel like a VIP as you renew your license alongside the rich and famous. Who needs Hollywood when you've got the DMV?
