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1 year ago
McDonalds ice cream machine
Not the hardest riddle.
These are just a few excuses we've heard as to why the darn things never work:
"Because the ice cream machine has developed stage fright—it's shy and prefers to perform only when there's no audience. We're working on its confidence."
"Because the ice cream machine is in cahoots with the napkin dispenser—it's their secret plan for world domination, one malfunction at a time."
"Because the ice cream machine is having an existential crisis—it's pondering the meaning of its soft-serve existence and needs some time off to find itself."
"Because the ice cream machine heard about global warming and decided to take a stand against melting—it's staging a protest by refusing to dispense anything cooler than room temperature."
"Because the ice cream machine is participating in a top-secret scientific experiment—it's being trained to communicate with extraterrestrial beings through Morse code encoded in sprinkles. Classified information, you know."
These are just a few excuses we've heard as to why the darn things never work:
"Because the ice cream machine has developed stage fright—it's shy and prefers to perform only when there's no audience. We're working on its confidence."
"Because the ice cream machine is in cahoots with the napkin dispenser—it's their secret plan for world domination, one malfunction at a time."
"Because the ice cream machine is having an existential crisis—it's pondering the meaning of its soft-serve existence and needs some time off to find itself."
"Because the ice cream machine heard about global warming and decided to take a stand against melting—it's staging a protest by refusing to dispense anything cooler than room temperature."
"Because the ice cream machine is participating in a top-secret scientific experiment—it's being trained to communicate with extraterrestrial beings through Morse code encoded in sprinkles. Classified information, you know."
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Attitude stays in
Wish it could go away but it stays. Why does it though? Shouldn't your body be able to purge toxic things from itself? We asked an alcoholic riding a donkey and he came up with these reasons why you can't vomit out a bad attitude:
"The Sour Stomach Syndrome:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your stomach to turn into a therapist's couch—it's just not equipped to handle emotional baggage. Instead of purging negativity, you're more likely to end up with heartburn and a whole new set of problems to worry about.
"The Bitter Belch Backfire:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to belch out your inner demons—it might provide temporary relief, but it's not a long-term solution. Instead of exorcising negativity, you're more likely to just make everyone within earshot uncomfortable and slightly nauseous.
"The Cranky Cough-Up Conundrum:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to cough up a hairball—it's messy, unpleasant, and probably not going to solve anything. Instead of expelling negativity, you're more likely to just end up with a sore throat and a lingering sense of bitterness.
"The Pessimistic Projectile Problem:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to projectile vomit your way to positivity—it's messy, ineffective, and likely to leave a trail of destruction in its wake. Instead of cleansing your soul, you're more likely to just traumatize everyone within a five-foot radius and ruin the carpet.
"The Grouchy Gag Reflex:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to reject negativity like a bad oyster—it's wishful thinking at best and downright foolish at worst. Instead of purging toxicity, you're more likely to just trigger your gag reflex and end up feeling even worse than before.
"The Sour Stomach Syndrome:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your stomach to turn into a therapist's couch—it's just not equipped to handle emotional baggage. Instead of purging negativity, you're more likely to end up with heartburn and a whole new set of problems to worry about.
"The Bitter Belch Backfire:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to belch out your inner demons—it might provide temporary relief, but it's not a long-term solution. Instead of exorcising negativity, you're more likely to just make everyone within earshot uncomfortable and slightly nauseous.
"The Cranky Cough-Up Conundrum:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to cough up a hairball—it's messy, unpleasant, and probably not going to solve anything. Instead of expelling negativity, you're more likely to just end up with a sore throat and a lingering sense of bitterness.
"The Pessimistic Projectile Problem:" Attempting to vomit out a bad attitude is like trying to projectile vomit your way to positivity—it's messy, ineffective, and likely to leave a trail of destruction in its wake. Instead of cleansing your soul, you're more likely to just traumatize everyone within a five-foot radius and ruin the carpet.
"The Grouchy Gag Reflex:" Trying to vomit out a bad attitude is like expecting your body to reject negativity like a bad oyster—it's wishful thinking at best and downright foolish at worst. Instead of purging toxicity, you're more likely to just trigger your gag reflex and end up feeling even worse than before.
1 year ago
The latest smoking lover fashion
There's a parallel universe where this is happening. But let's tackle the root of this meme! Why do stoners dress like that? Here's 5 reasons why we think they do:
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
