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1 year ago
McDonalds ice cream machine
Not the hardest riddle.
These are just a few excuses we've heard as to why the darn things never work:
"Because the ice cream machine has developed stage fright—it's shy and prefers to perform only when there's no audience. We're working on its confidence."
"Because the ice cream machine is in cahoots with the napkin dispenser—it's their secret plan for world domination, one malfunction at a time."
"Because the ice cream machine is having an existential crisis—it's pondering the meaning of its soft-serve existence and needs some time off to find itself."
"Because the ice cream machine heard about global warming and decided to take a stand against melting—it's staging a protest by refusing to dispense anything cooler than room temperature."
"Because the ice cream machine is participating in a top-secret scientific experiment—it's being trained to communicate with extraterrestrial beings through Morse code encoded in sprinkles. Classified information, you know."
These are just a few excuses we've heard as to why the darn things never work:
"Because the ice cream machine has developed stage fright—it's shy and prefers to perform only when there's no audience. We're working on its confidence."
"Because the ice cream machine is in cahoots with the napkin dispenser—it's their secret plan for world domination, one malfunction at a time."
"Because the ice cream machine is having an existential crisis—it's pondering the meaning of its soft-serve existence and needs some time off to find itself."
"Because the ice cream machine heard about global warming and decided to take a stand against melting—it's staging a protest by refusing to dispense anything cooler than room temperature."
"Because the ice cream machine is participating in a top-secret scientific experiment—it's being trained to communicate with extraterrestrial beings through Morse code encoded in sprinkles. Classified information, you know."
1 year ago
1 year ago
When matchmaking does you dirty
They have cool skins though, appropriate and cool. Everybody knows that when you're winning it's all you but when losing your team is to blame. here's a few reasons why that is always unequivocally true:
"The MVP Mix-Up": You're the reason you're winning the game because of your unmatched skills and sheer brilliance on the field. But when it comes to losing, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your superstar performance. They should've been taking notes instead of dropping the ball—literally.
"The Lone Ranger Rant": Winning the game is all thanks to your individual prowess and unmatched talent. But when the tides turn and victory slips through your fingers, it's obviously because your team couldn't handle the pressure of playing alongside a sports legend like yourself. Next time, maybe they'll learn to step up their game.
"The Superstar Scapegoat": You're the driving force behind every win, with your unmatched athleticism and strategic brilliance leading the charge. But when it comes to losses, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your unmatched genius. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.
"The MVP Mishap": You're the star player who single-handedly carries the team to victory with your unmatched skills and unwavering determination. But when it comes to defeat, it's obviously your team's fault for not being able to rise to your level of greatness. Next time, maybe they'll learn to pull their weight instead of dragging you down.
"The One-Man Showdown": You're the undisputed MVP of the game, with your unparalleled talent and unmatched skill leading the team to victory after victory. But when the scoreboard doesn't go your way, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to match your level of excellence. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.
"The MVP Mix-Up": You're the reason you're winning the game because of your unmatched skills and sheer brilliance on the field. But when it comes to losing, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your superstar performance. They should've been taking notes instead of dropping the ball—literally.
"The Lone Ranger Rant": Winning the game is all thanks to your individual prowess and unmatched talent. But when the tides turn and victory slips through your fingers, it's obviously because your team couldn't handle the pressure of playing alongside a sports legend like yourself. Next time, maybe they'll learn to step up their game.
"The Superstar Scapegoat": You're the driving force behind every win, with your unmatched athleticism and strategic brilliance leading the charge. But when it comes to losses, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to keep up with your unmatched genius. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.
"The MVP Mishap": You're the star player who single-handedly carries the team to victory with your unmatched skills and unwavering determination. But when it comes to defeat, it's obviously your team's fault for not being able to rise to your level of greatness. Next time, maybe they'll learn to pull their weight instead of dragging you down.
"The One-Man Showdown": You're the undisputed MVP of the game, with your unparalleled talent and unmatched skill leading the team to victory after victory. But when the scoreboard doesn't go your way, it's clearly your team's fault for not being able to match your level of excellence. After all, it's hard to carry the weight of the entire team on your shoulders.
1 year ago
1 year ago
Call Captain Planet for this toxicity
Happiness was anywhere she wasn't. Though being more toxic then a nuclear waste repository takes skill ...not desirable skill but skill nonetheless!
Here's 5 signs you might be the toxic partner:
You've Perfected the Art of Emotional Jenga: Every relationship with you is like a high-stakes game of emotional Jenga, with your partner desperately trying to navigate the precarious tower of your feelings without triggering a collapse. Spoiler alert: the tower always comes crashing down, usually right after they make a harmless joke about your cooking.
Your Love Language is Morse Code... in Sarcasm: Instead of expressing affection with hugs and kisses, you communicate in a code known only to the most sarcastic of souls. Your partner spends hours decoding your cryptic messages, only to discover that you were just being "playful" with your insults.
You're the Houdini of Healthy Communication: You've mastered the art of disappearing whenever a serious conversation rears its ugly head. Your partner is left talking to an empty room, wondering if they're dating a magician or just someone with commitment issues.
Your Relationship Milestones Include the Seven Stages of Grief: Instead of celebrating anniversaries and milestones, you mark the passage of time with the seven stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, more denial, and finally, ordering takeout to cope.
You're the Picasso of Petty Acts of Rebellion: Every disagreement with your partner is an opportunity to unleash your inner rebel, staging elaborate acts of defiance that would make even the most seasoned anarchist blush. Who needs healthy conflict resolution when you can paint the town red with passive-aggressive graffiti?
Here's 5 signs you might be the toxic partner:
You've Perfected the Art of Emotional Jenga: Every relationship with you is like a high-stakes game of emotional Jenga, with your partner desperately trying to navigate the precarious tower of your feelings without triggering a collapse. Spoiler alert: the tower always comes crashing down, usually right after they make a harmless joke about your cooking.
Your Love Language is Morse Code... in Sarcasm: Instead of expressing affection with hugs and kisses, you communicate in a code known only to the most sarcastic of souls. Your partner spends hours decoding your cryptic messages, only to discover that you were just being "playful" with your insults.
You're the Houdini of Healthy Communication: You've mastered the art of disappearing whenever a serious conversation rears its ugly head. Your partner is left talking to an empty room, wondering if they're dating a magician or just someone with commitment issues.
Your Relationship Milestones Include the Seven Stages of Grief: Instead of celebrating anniversaries and milestones, you mark the passage of time with the seven stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, more denial, and finally, ordering takeout to cope.
You're the Picasso of Petty Acts of Rebellion: Every disagreement with your partner is an opportunity to unleash your inner rebel, staging elaborate acts of defiance that would make even the most seasoned anarchist blush. Who needs healthy conflict resolution when you can paint the town red with passive-aggressive graffiti?
1 year ago
1 year ago
Looking for a scrap
No just regular old scrap, but outside of a school scrap! Free metal is better then fighting and here's a few reasons why:
The Rusty Rumble: "Because while fights may leave you bruised and battered, scrap metal leaves you with tetanus—talk about a metal makeover!"
The Tin Tussle: "Because why throw punches when you can throw scrap metal? It's like dodgeball, but with more danger and less gym class trauma."
The Junkyard Joust: "Because in the battle of man versus metal, the real winner is whoever can lift the heaviest car door. It's like the Olympics, but with more oil stains."
The Aluminum Ambush: "Because nothing says 'I'm tough' like wielding a broken bicycle frame as a weapon. It's recycling with a side of retribution."
The Scrapyard Showdown: "Because while fights may end with bruised egos, scrap metal fights end with everyone questioning their life choices—plus, you get to keep the coolest piece of wreckage as a trophy."
The Rusty Rumble: "Because while fights may leave you bruised and battered, scrap metal leaves you with tetanus—talk about a metal makeover!"
The Tin Tussle: "Because why throw punches when you can throw scrap metal? It's like dodgeball, but with more danger and less gym class trauma."
The Junkyard Joust: "Because in the battle of man versus metal, the real winner is whoever can lift the heaviest car door. It's like the Olympics, but with more oil stains."
The Aluminum Ambush: "Because nothing says 'I'm tough' like wielding a broken bicycle frame as a weapon. It's recycling with a side of retribution."
The Scrapyard Showdown: "Because while fights may end with bruised egos, scrap metal fights end with everyone questioning their life choices—plus, you get to keep the coolest piece of wreckage as a trophy."
