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1 year ago
I will never financially recover
99$ for a three piece meal with small fries, here are a few other pocket breaking menu items making sure you need a second mortgage to go with your movie meal:
"Microwave Popcorn: Now with the added luxury tax for that authentic 'cinematic crunch' experience. Enjoy your kernels of gold!"
"Tap Water: Filtered through diamond-encrusted faucets for that extra sparkle. Hydration has never been so exclusive!"
"Candy Corn: Each kernel individually hand-carved by artisanal candy sculptors. Sweetness has never been this pretentious!"
"Gummy Bears: Infused with unicorn tears and rainbow essence for that extra burst of magic. Each bear is like a tiny, chewy piece of fantasy!"
"Paper Napkins: Made from the finest silk threads harvested from rare, endangered silk worms. Absorbency has never felt so luxurious!"
"Microwave Popcorn: Now with the added luxury tax for that authentic 'cinematic crunch' experience. Enjoy your kernels of gold!"
"Tap Water: Filtered through diamond-encrusted faucets for that extra sparkle. Hydration has never been so exclusive!"
"Candy Corn: Each kernel individually hand-carved by artisanal candy sculptors. Sweetness has never been this pretentious!"
"Gummy Bears: Infused with unicorn tears and rainbow essence for that extra burst of magic. Each bear is like a tiny, chewy piece of fantasy!"
"Paper Napkins: Made from the finest silk threads harvested from rare, endangered silk worms. Absorbency has never felt so luxurious!"
1 year ago
1 year ago
Not the best daughter out there
Do your parents a favor and block them. They wish they were embarrassed in the wholesome ways we came up with after we finished playing checkers with the office cat
"The Cringeworthy Cosplay Catastrophe: Your daughter convinces you to join her in dressing up for a comic convention, but when you misinterpret the theme and show up in a costume that's a little too revealing, the resulting photoshoot becomes an unintentional parody of a spicy romance novel cover. Your cosplay fail goes viral, and you become known as "The Accidental Beefcake Dad."
"The Awkward Roleplay Revelation: During a family game night, your daughter suggests playing a round of charades, but things take a hilariously awkward turn when you unwittingly act out a scene from a raunchy romance novel instead. The resulting video clip becomes a viral sensation, earning you the title of "The Unintentional Erotic Enthusiast" and leading to some very uncomfortable explanations at the next family gathering.
"The Parental Pillow Talk Prank: Your daughter decides to prank you by secretly recording your reaction to finding a suggestive item in her room, but when you mistake it for a quirky household gadget and proceed to demonstrate its "proper" use, the resulting video becomes an instant classic. You become known as "The Unintentional Romance Guru," and your tutorial on household innovation goes viral, much to your daughter's embarrassment.
"The Inadvertent Dating Advice Disaster: Your daughter asks for your opinion on her dating profile, but when you accidentally swipe right on a particularly risqué match, chaos ensues. The ensuing date-from-hell story becomes a social media sensation, and you become known as "The Accidental Matchmaker Dad," much to your daughter's chagrin.
"The Parental Passion Project Gone Wrong: Your daughter convinces you to join her in creating a TikTok dance routine, but when your enthusiastic interpretation of the choreography takes a hilariously suggestive turn, the resulting video goes viral for all the wrong reasons. You become known as "The Unintentional TikTok Heartthrob Dad," and your dance moves inspire a wave of secondhand embarrassment across the internet.
"The Cringeworthy Cosplay Catastrophe: Your daughter convinces you to join her in dressing up for a comic convention, but when you misinterpret the theme and show up in a costume that's a little too revealing, the resulting photoshoot becomes an unintentional parody of a spicy romance novel cover. Your cosplay fail goes viral, and you become known as "The Accidental Beefcake Dad."
"The Awkward Roleplay Revelation: During a family game night, your daughter suggests playing a round of charades, but things take a hilariously awkward turn when you unwittingly act out a scene from a raunchy romance novel instead. The resulting video clip becomes a viral sensation, earning you the title of "The Unintentional Erotic Enthusiast" and leading to some very uncomfortable explanations at the next family gathering.
"The Parental Pillow Talk Prank: Your daughter decides to prank you by secretly recording your reaction to finding a suggestive item in her room, but when you mistake it for a quirky household gadget and proceed to demonstrate its "proper" use, the resulting video becomes an instant classic. You become known as "The Unintentional Romance Guru," and your tutorial on household innovation goes viral, much to your daughter's embarrassment.
"The Inadvertent Dating Advice Disaster: Your daughter asks for your opinion on her dating profile, but when you accidentally swipe right on a particularly risqué match, chaos ensues. The ensuing date-from-hell story becomes a social media sensation, and you become known as "The Accidental Matchmaker Dad," much to your daughter's chagrin.
"The Parental Passion Project Gone Wrong: Your daughter convinces you to join her in creating a TikTok dance routine, but when your enthusiastic interpretation of the choreography takes a hilariously suggestive turn, the resulting video goes viral for all the wrong reasons. You become known as "The Unintentional TikTok Heartthrob Dad," and your dance moves inspire a wave of secondhand embarrassment across the internet.
1 year ago
Expensive alergies to have
It's from all the "we have food at home" memes
Totally take our reasons into account too
The "Budget Bonanza" Benefit:
"Who needs fancy restaurants when you can have a five-star meal from the dollar menu? It's like fine dining on a ramen noodle budget!"
The "Priceless Pleasure" Principle:
"Cheaper food comes with the added bonus of guilt-free indulgence – because saving money is the most delicious flavor of all!"
The "Thrifty Taste Test" Triumph:
"Why splurge on expensive delicacies when you can embark on a culinary adventure through the bargain bin? It's like a taste test challenge without the hefty price tag!"
The "Frugal Feast" Fantasy:
"With cheaper food, you can afford to throw an epic feast for all your friends – just don't tell them you bought the entire spread for less than the price of a latte!"
The "Savings Spice" Secret:
"Cheaper food is like a secret ingredient that adds an extra dash of flavor to every meal – the taste of victory, with a side of savings!"
Totally take our reasons into account too
The "Budget Bonanza" Benefit:
"Who needs fancy restaurants when you can have a five-star meal from the dollar menu? It's like fine dining on a ramen noodle budget!"
The "Priceless Pleasure" Principle:
"Cheaper food comes with the added bonus of guilt-free indulgence – because saving money is the most delicious flavor of all!"
The "Thrifty Taste Test" Triumph:
"Why splurge on expensive delicacies when you can embark on a culinary adventure through the bargain bin? It's like a taste test challenge without the hefty price tag!"
The "Frugal Feast" Fantasy:
"With cheaper food, you can afford to throw an epic feast for all your friends – just don't tell them you bought the entire spread for less than the price of a latte!"
The "Savings Spice" Secret:
"Cheaper food is like a secret ingredient that adds an extra dash of flavor to every meal – the taste of victory, with a side of savings!"
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Modern Age Knock Knock Joke
Who's their? Regardless of political views you must appreciate the sublime harmlessness of a good Knock Knock joke. Hard to offend sublime in it's simplicity it might be one of the best joke formats ever invented and here's why:
"The Doorway to Delight": Knock knock jokes are like the front door of comedy—always there, always inviting, and always ready to welcome you with a hearty chuckle. Plus, who doesn't love a good surprise punchline?
"The Punny Portal": Knock knock jokes are the puns of the joke world—cheesy, groan-inducing, and utterly irresistible. It's like a game of comedic roulette, where you never know if you'll land on a gem or a dud.
"The Hilarious House Call": Knock knock jokes are the ultimate icebreaker, breaking down social barriers with a simple tap-tap-tap on the door. It's like ringing the doorbell of friendship and shouting, "Surprise! I'm here to make you laugh!"
"The Greeting Giggle": Knock knock jokes are the universal language of laughter, transcending cultural barriers and linguistic differences with their timeless appeal. It's like saying "hello" with a side of silliness—a surefire way to put a smile on anyone's face.
"The Doorbell of Dad Jokes": Knock knock jokes are the dad jokes of the joke world—corny, predictable, and impossible to resist. It's like opening a door to a world of dad-approved humor, complete with groans, eye rolls, and begrudging chuckles.
"The Doorway to Delight": Knock knock jokes are like the front door of comedy—always there, always inviting, and always ready to welcome you with a hearty chuckle. Plus, who doesn't love a good surprise punchline?
"The Punny Portal": Knock knock jokes are the puns of the joke world—cheesy, groan-inducing, and utterly irresistible. It's like a game of comedic roulette, where you never know if you'll land on a gem or a dud.
"The Hilarious House Call": Knock knock jokes are the ultimate icebreaker, breaking down social barriers with a simple tap-tap-tap on the door. It's like ringing the doorbell of friendship and shouting, "Surprise! I'm here to make you laugh!"
"The Greeting Giggle": Knock knock jokes are the universal language of laughter, transcending cultural barriers and linguistic differences with their timeless appeal. It's like saying "hello" with a side of silliness—a surefire way to put a smile on anyone's face.
"The Doorbell of Dad Jokes": Knock knock jokes are the dad jokes of the joke world—corny, predictable, and impossible to resist. It's like opening a door to a world of dad-approved humor, complete with groans, eye rolls, and begrudging chuckles.
