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1 year ago
I will never financially recover
99$ for a three piece meal with small fries, here are a few other pocket breaking menu items making sure you need a second mortgage to go with your movie meal:
"Microwave Popcorn: Now with the added luxury tax for that authentic 'cinematic crunch' experience. Enjoy your kernels of gold!"
"Tap Water: Filtered through diamond-encrusted faucets for that extra sparkle. Hydration has never been so exclusive!"
"Candy Corn: Each kernel individually hand-carved by artisanal candy sculptors. Sweetness has never been this pretentious!"
"Gummy Bears: Infused with unicorn tears and rainbow essence for that extra burst of magic. Each bear is like a tiny, chewy piece of fantasy!"
"Paper Napkins: Made from the finest silk threads harvested from rare, endangered silk worms. Absorbency has never felt so luxurious!"
"Microwave Popcorn: Now with the added luxury tax for that authentic 'cinematic crunch' experience. Enjoy your kernels of gold!"
"Tap Water: Filtered through diamond-encrusted faucets for that extra sparkle. Hydration has never been so exclusive!"
"Candy Corn: Each kernel individually hand-carved by artisanal candy sculptors. Sweetness has never been this pretentious!"
"Gummy Bears: Infused with unicorn tears and rainbow essence for that extra burst of magic. Each bear is like a tiny, chewy piece of fantasy!"
"Paper Napkins: Made from the finest silk threads harvested from rare, endangered silk worms. Absorbency has never felt so luxurious!"
1 year ago
Modern AI Mona Lisa
Wonder if the filters are included. They have a nice point though! AI sure is smart! Maybe the Mona Lisa is a not sexy enough for today's sensibilities! That prude Davinci should have made her sexier! Here's 5 reasons why the Mona Lisa isn't sexy enough:
"The Mona Lisa Makeover Madness": "If only da Vinci had given her a 'makeunder'—less robe, more robe dropping! Imagine the chaos if the Mona Lisa had ditched the modesty for a strategically placed fig leaf or a playful wink, leaving viewers blushing and art historians scratching their heads."
"The Mona Lisa's Renaissance Rendezvous": "What if the Mona Lisa had been caught in a saucy Renaissance romance? Picture her exchanging secret glances with a handsome courtier, her robe slipping off her shoulder as she whispers sweet nothings—da Vinci could have painted the ultimate Renaissance rom-com!"
"The Mona Lisa's Mona Luscious Lips": "They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but what about those lips? If da Vinci had given the Mona Lisa a pair of plump, luscious lips, she could have been the original Renaissance 'It Girl,' inspiring poets to wax lyrical about her kissable pout."
"The Mona Lisa's Mona-Licious Mane": "What if the Mona Lisa had let her hair down—literally? With a wild mane of untamed curls and a come-hither gaze, she could have been the original Renaissance rockstar, leaving admirers swooning and artists scrambling to capture her unruly allure."
"The Mona Lisa's Cheeky Charms": "If only da Vinci had captured her cheeky side! Picture the Mona Lisa winking impishly at the viewer, her finger pressed to her lips in a playful 'shh'—she could have been the original Renaissance prankster, leaving behind a legacy of laughter and mischief."
"The Mona Lisa Makeover Madness": "If only da Vinci had given her a 'makeunder'—less robe, more robe dropping! Imagine the chaos if the Mona Lisa had ditched the modesty for a strategically placed fig leaf or a playful wink, leaving viewers blushing and art historians scratching their heads."
"The Mona Lisa's Renaissance Rendezvous": "What if the Mona Lisa had been caught in a saucy Renaissance romance? Picture her exchanging secret glances with a handsome courtier, her robe slipping off her shoulder as she whispers sweet nothings—da Vinci could have painted the ultimate Renaissance rom-com!"
"The Mona Lisa's Mona Luscious Lips": "They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, but what about those lips? If da Vinci had given the Mona Lisa a pair of plump, luscious lips, she could have been the original Renaissance 'It Girl,' inspiring poets to wax lyrical about her kissable pout."
"The Mona Lisa's Mona-Licious Mane": "What if the Mona Lisa had let her hair down—literally? With a wild mane of untamed curls and a come-hither gaze, she could have been the original Renaissance rockstar, leaving admirers swooning and artists scrambling to capture her unruly allure."
"The Mona Lisa's Cheeky Charms": "If only da Vinci had captured her cheeky side! Picture the Mona Lisa winking impishly at the viewer, her finger pressed to her lips in a playful 'shh'—she could have been the original Renaissance prankster, leaving behind a legacy of laughter and mischief."
1 year ago
Find some joy in your job!
Find a job you like and you'll never work a day in your life....monetize your hobby and you'll soon learn to hate it
Have a Witch Spell Pun
For Cat-astrophic Puns:
"Whisker of cat and meow of kitten,
Turn my words into puns that'll have 'em smitten.
With a snap of my fingers and a cackle or two,
Let the cat puns flow like morning dew!"
Have a Witch Spell Pun
For Cat-astrophic Puns:
"Whisker of cat and meow of kitten,
Turn my words into puns that'll have 'em smitten.
With a snap of my fingers and a cackle or two,
Let the cat puns flow like morning dew!"
1 year ago
1 year ago
1 year ago
Whiskey should be enjoyed classicly!
Inadvertently inventing the whiskey suppository!
Mix-up Madness: Imagine the horror of accidentally reaching for your whisky pod instead of your hemorrhoid cream. Talk about a burning sensation!
Bottoms Up... Literally!: Drinking is supposed to be enjoyable, not an activity you do upside down!
Whisky Business: Whisky is meant to warm your heart, not your... well, you get the idea.
The Ultimate Party Foul: "Hey, want a shot?" "Sure, just bend over!"
Shaken, Not Stirred... Literally!: Forget about fancy cocktails, this is mixology taken to a whole new level.
Whisky Tango Foxtrot: Because nothing says "What were you thinking?" quite like a whisky pod where the sun don't shine.
Risky Whisky: It's like playing a game of Russian roulette with your... dignity.
Butt of the Joke: The punchline is painfully obvious... and painful.
Sitting on a Goldmine: Who needs a flask when you've got a bottomless supply?
A "Cheeky" Nightcap: Because nothing says "nightcap" quite like a night on your back with a pod up your... well, you know.
Mix-up Madness: Imagine the horror of accidentally reaching for your whisky pod instead of your hemorrhoid cream. Talk about a burning sensation!
Bottoms Up... Literally!: Drinking is supposed to be enjoyable, not an activity you do upside down!
Whisky Business: Whisky is meant to warm your heart, not your... well, you get the idea.
The Ultimate Party Foul: "Hey, want a shot?" "Sure, just bend over!"
Shaken, Not Stirred... Literally!: Forget about fancy cocktails, this is mixology taken to a whole new level.
Whisky Tango Foxtrot: Because nothing says "What were you thinking?" quite like a whisky pod where the sun don't shine.
Risky Whisky: It's like playing a game of Russian roulette with your... dignity.
Butt of the Joke: The punchline is painfully obvious... and painful.
Sitting on a Goldmine: Who needs a flask when you've got a bottomless supply?
A "Cheeky" Nightcap: Because nothing says "nightcap" quite like a night on your back with a pod up your... well, you know.
1 year ago
50 purse cent
Another negotiator
Maybe she never learned to spell because of one of these, here are five humorous and ridiculous reasons why you might not have learned to spell in grade school:
The Sneaky Spelling Bee Sabotage: Every time you studied for a spelling bee, your pet parrot would swoop in and mimic the wrong words, leaving you with a vocabulary full of squawks and chirps instead of proper spelling.
The Mischievous Magic Spellbook: Your attempts to study spelling were constantly thwarted by a mischievous magic spellbook that would swap out the correct spellings for ridiculous alternatives like "eleventeen" and "kangaroom."
The Dastardly Dictionary Demons: Every time you opened a dictionary to look up a word, dictionary demons would pop out and rearrange the letters, turning your innocent search for knowledge into a chaotic game of word scramble.
The Pernicious Pencil Predicament: Your pencils were secretly in cahoots with the erasers, conspiring to erase your spelling homework every time you turned your back. It was like your own personal spelling Bermuda Triangle!
The Treacherous Typewriter Tyranny: Every time you tried to practice spelling on a typewriter, the keys would rebel and type out nonsensical gibberish like "qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm" instead of actual words. It was like a typewriter version of autocorrect gone haywire!
Maybe she never learned to spell because of one of these, here are five humorous and ridiculous reasons why you might not have learned to spell in grade school:
The Sneaky Spelling Bee Sabotage: Every time you studied for a spelling bee, your pet parrot would swoop in and mimic the wrong words, leaving you with a vocabulary full of squawks and chirps instead of proper spelling.
The Mischievous Magic Spellbook: Your attempts to study spelling were constantly thwarted by a mischievous magic spellbook that would swap out the correct spellings for ridiculous alternatives like "eleventeen" and "kangaroom."
The Dastardly Dictionary Demons: Every time you opened a dictionary to look up a word, dictionary demons would pop out and rearrange the letters, turning your innocent search for knowledge into a chaotic game of word scramble.
The Pernicious Pencil Predicament: Your pencils were secretly in cahoots with the erasers, conspiring to erase your spelling homework every time you turned your back. It was like your own personal spelling Bermuda Triangle!
The Treacherous Typewriter Tyranny: Every time you tried to practice spelling on a typewriter, the keys would rebel and type out nonsensical gibberish like "qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm" instead of actual words. It was like a typewriter version of autocorrect gone haywire!
