Hypo criticizing

Sitting there eating all the plants. I feel like criticizing those bastards here are some opinions about those uncouth beasts:

"Hippos: Nature's real-life 'Hungry Hungry Hippos' game, except instead of marbles, they're devouring entire ecosystems. Someone needs to tell them it's not a buffet!"

"Hippos: Proof that 'thick thighs save lives' also applies in the animal kingdom. But seriously, those chunky chompers are less 'majestic river guardian' and more 'hungry, hungry hippo in a tutu.'"

"Hippos: The fashionably latecomers to the 'gray and wrinkly' trend. But let's be honest, no amount of mud baths can cover up that 'I-ate-too-many-lunches' look."

"Hippos: Living proof that you can't judge a book by its cover. With a face that says 'cuddly teddy bear' and a temper that says 'swim at your own risk,' they're the ultimate aquatic enigmas."

"Hippos: The heavyweight champions of the riverbank, with a body mass index that puts Sumo wrestlers to shame. Someone needs to tell them that 'big boned' isn't an excuse to sink every boat that dares to pass by."