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2 years ago
Little banter with EA
Could this teach them that making good games is a good idea? Here EA you can have these ideas since your games are so good recently "Office Chaos Simulator": Play as an office worker navigating through mundane tasks like filing paperwork, fixing the printer, and attending endless meetings.
The goal? Survive the workday without succumbing to boredom-induced madness! "Toast Simulator 3000": Experience the thrill of being a slice of bread in a toaster. Your mission? Get toasted evenly without burning or getting stuck.
Bonus points for landing butter-side up! "Traffic Jam Tycoon": Build and manage your own gridlocked city! Strategically place traffic lights, roadblocks, and potholes to ensure maximum congestion. Can you frustrate enough virtual commuters to become the ultimate traffic jam tycoon? "Zombie Accountant Apocalypse": Play as a zombie accountant roaming the streets in search of spreadsheets to devour.
Watch out for rival zombie lawyers and auditors out to steal your clients' brains! "Extreme Lawn Mowing Championship": Race against the clock to mow lawns in the most absurd and dangerous locations imaginable – from erupting volcanoes to outer space. Just be careful not to run over any garden gnomes!
The goal? Survive the workday without succumbing to boredom-induced madness! "Toast Simulator 3000": Experience the thrill of being a slice of bread in a toaster. Your mission? Get toasted evenly without burning or getting stuck.
Bonus points for landing butter-side up! "Traffic Jam Tycoon": Build and manage your own gridlocked city! Strategically place traffic lights, roadblocks, and potholes to ensure maximum congestion. Can you frustrate enough virtual commuters to become the ultimate traffic jam tycoon? "Zombie Accountant Apocalypse": Play as a zombie accountant roaming the streets in search of spreadsheets to devour.
Watch out for rival zombie lawyers and auditors out to steal your clients' brains! "Extreme Lawn Mowing Championship": Race against the clock to mow lawns in the most absurd and dangerous locations imaginable – from erupting volcanoes to outer space. Just be careful not to run over any garden gnomes!
2 years ago
A Japanese Chef should stab you
Only if you cook sushi and they made it for you though. For less serious sushi cooking offenses we recommend these non-stabby punishments:
"Sashimi Slapdown": Forget about getting slapped with a glove—getting punished by a Japanese chef means experiencing the infamous sashimi slapdown. Picture yourself getting whacked with a giant tuna tail while the chef lectures you on the art of sushi making. Ouch!
"Wasabi Waterboarding": Ever heard of wasabi waterboarding? Let's just say it involves a sushi roll, a tube of wasabi, and a bucket of soy sauce. Get ready for a spicy punishment that'll leave your sinuses clear and your taste buds crying for mercy.
"Nori Nunchuck Training": For those who dare to cook sushi without proper training, there's the dreaded nori nunchuck punishment. Picture yourself blindfolded and armed with a pair of seaweed sheets, facing off against a seasoned sushi chef armed with bamboo rolling mats. It's a battle of culinary proportions, and the stakes are high.
"Rice Rumble in the Kitchen": Cooking sushi without proper technique? Prepare to face the rice rumble in the kitchen. Imagine a wrestling match with giant mounds of sticky rice, where the loser gets pinned down by a sushi rolling mat and drenched in soy sauce. It's a messy punishment, but someone's gotta do it.
"Tempura Tantrum": Messing up sushi is bad enough, but messing up tempura? That's a crime worthy of punishment. Picture yourself standing in the corner of a Japanese kitchen, wearing a tempura batter dunce cap while the chef pelts you with deep-fried shrimp tails. It's a punishment that'll leave you battered and fried—but hopefully wiser for next time.
"Sashimi Slapdown": Forget about getting slapped with a glove—getting punished by a Japanese chef means experiencing the infamous sashimi slapdown. Picture yourself getting whacked with a giant tuna tail while the chef lectures you on the art of sushi making. Ouch!
"Wasabi Waterboarding": Ever heard of wasabi waterboarding? Let's just say it involves a sushi roll, a tube of wasabi, and a bucket of soy sauce. Get ready for a spicy punishment that'll leave your sinuses clear and your taste buds crying for mercy.
"Nori Nunchuck Training": For those who dare to cook sushi without proper training, there's the dreaded nori nunchuck punishment. Picture yourself blindfolded and armed with a pair of seaweed sheets, facing off against a seasoned sushi chef armed with bamboo rolling mats. It's a battle of culinary proportions, and the stakes are high.
"Rice Rumble in the Kitchen": Cooking sushi without proper technique? Prepare to face the rice rumble in the kitchen. Imagine a wrestling match with giant mounds of sticky rice, where the loser gets pinned down by a sushi rolling mat and drenched in soy sauce. It's a messy punishment, but someone's gotta do it.
"Tempura Tantrum": Messing up sushi is bad enough, but messing up tempura? That's a crime worthy of punishment. Picture yourself standing in the corner of a Japanese kitchen, wearing a tempura batter dunce cap while the chef pelts you with deep-fried shrimp tails. It's a punishment that'll leave you battered and fried—but hopefully wiser for next time.
2 years ago
2 years ago
They blocked you my dude
All of them ...that's impressive. But on funnybanter we're on looking for the silver lining! It has to exist even if we skew the data. Here's 5 reasons why being blocked by your entire High School Class is a good thing:
"The Social Media Savior": "Getting blocked by my high school class was the wake-up call I needed to realize I was spending way too much time stalking their vacation photos instead of living my own life. Thanks, guys, for helping me break free from the endless scroll!"
"The Rejection Reflection": "Who needs high school drama when you can have real-life drama? Being blocked by my classmates was like getting a VIP pass to the exclusive club of 'People Who Have Better Things to Do.' Turns out, FOMO is a lot less scary when you're the one doing the blocking."
"The Privacy Party": "Finally, I can post embarrassing selfies and questionable memes without fear of judgment from my high school peers. Being blocked is like having my own personal echo chamber—just me, myself, and the sound of my own hilarious jokes."
"The Class Clown Caper": "I always knew I was destined for greatness, but being blocked by my high school class confirmed it. Turns out, my jokes were just too funny for them to handle. Who knew my impeccable taste in memes would be my ticket to internet stardom?"
"The Freedom Festival": "Getting blocked was the best thing that ever happened to me. No more awkward friend requests from people I barely remember, no more cringe-worthy comments on ancient status updates—just me, flying solo in the vast expanse of cyberspace. It's like a digital detox, but without all the kale."
"The Social Media Savior": "Getting blocked by my high school class was the wake-up call I needed to realize I was spending way too much time stalking their vacation photos instead of living my own life. Thanks, guys, for helping me break free from the endless scroll!"
"The Rejection Reflection": "Who needs high school drama when you can have real-life drama? Being blocked by my classmates was like getting a VIP pass to the exclusive club of 'People Who Have Better Things to Do.' Turns out, FOMO is a lot less scary when you're the one doing the blocking."
"The Privacy Party": "Finally, I can post embarrassing selfies and questionable memes without fear of judgment from my high school peers. Being blocked is like having my own personal echo chamber—just me, myself, and the sound of my own hilarious jokes."
"The Class Clown Caper": "I always knew I was destined for greatness, but being blocked by my high school class confirmed it. Turns out, my jokes were just too funny for them to handle. Who knew my impeccable taste in memes would be my ticket to internet stardom?"
"The Freedom Festival": "Getting blocked was the best thing that ever happened to me. No more awkward friend requests from people I barely remember, no more cringe-worthy comments on ancient status updates—just me, flying solo in the vast expanse of cyberspace. It's like a digital detox, but without all the kale."
2 years ago
Come on man salad ain't that bad
Maybe the other part was the problem though...
Here are some reasons why you wouldn't want to eat said cucumber:
"The Pickle Predicament": Let's just say that once a cucumber has been on a journey of self-discovery, it's not exactly fit for polite company. You might find yourself in a bit of a pickle trying to explain why you're avoiding the veggie platter at the next office party!
"Salad Shudders": You thought you were just adding some crunchy greens to your salad, but little did you know you were about to become an unwitting participant in a vegetable-based scandal. Suddenly, those leafy greens don't seem so appetizing anymore!
"The Cucumber Conundrum": They say cucumbers are refreshing, but there's nothing refreshing about the mental image of their previous escapades. Suddenly, you're second-guessing every salad, sandwich, and sushi roll you've ever eaten. Talk about a mood killer!
"The Garden of Unearthly Delights": You thought you were being healthy by reaching for that cucumber, but little did you know you were about to take a walk on the wild side. Looks like you'll be sticking to carrots for your veggie snacks from now on—less room for misinterpretation!
"Pickle Perils": You thought you were indulging in a wholesome snack, but turns out you've stumbled upon a vegetable with a rather colorful past. Suddenly, you're rethinking your entire relationship with the produce aisle. Who knew cucumbers could be so scandalous?
Here are some reasons why you wouldn't want to eat said cucumber:
"The Pickle Predicament": Let's just say that once a cucumber has been on a journey of self-discovery, it's not exactly fit for polite company. You might find yourself in a bit of a pickle trying to explain why you're avoiding the veggie platter at the next office party!
"Salad Shudders": You thought you were just adding some crunchy greens to your salad, but little did you know you were about to become an unwitting participant in a vegetable-based scandal. Suddenly, those leafy greens don't seem so appetizing anymore!
"The Cucumber Conundrum": They say cucumbers are refreshing, but there's nothing refreshing about the mental image of their previous escapades. Suddenly, you're second-guessing every salad, sandwich, and sushi roll you've ever eaten. Talk about a mood killer!
"The Garden of Unearthly Delights": You thought you were being healthy by reaching for that cucumber, but little did you know you were about to take a walk on the wild side. Looks like you'll be sticking to carrots for your veggie snacks from now on—less room for misinterpretation!
"Pickle Perils": You thought you were indulging in a wholesome snack, but turns out you've stumbled upon a vegetable with a rather colorful past. Suddenly, you're rethinking your entire relationship with the produce aisle. Who knew cucumbers could be so scandalous?
2 years ago
The latest smoking lover fashion
There's a parallel universe where this is happening. But let's tackle the root of this meme! Why do stoners dress like that? Here's 5 reasons why we think they do:
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
"The Stealthy Style": Stoners dress in baggy clothes and hoodies to blend in with their surroundings—after all, you never know when you might need to camouflage yourself against a particularly leafy backdrop.
"The Snack Storage Solution": Those oversized pockets aren't just for show—they're the perfect place to stash snacks for those inevitable munchies. From bags of chips to boxes of cookies, stoners know that fashion is all about function.
"The Comfort Quest": Stoners prioritize comfort above all else, which is why you'll often find them rocking sweatpants and slippers wherever they go. Who needs high fashion when you can have high comfort levels?
"The Mindful Mix-and-Match": Stoners have a unique approach to fashion that can only be described as "eclectic." From tie-dye t-shirts to mismatched socks, they embrace a mix-and-match mentality that reflects their free-spirited outlook on life.
"The Herbal Accessory": Let's face it—nothing complements a stoner's outfit quite like a well-rolled joint or a fancy glass pipe. With their herb-themed accessories, stoners prove that fashion isn't just about clothes—it's a lifestyle.
2 years ago
At least he's honest
Hops his lowball gets turned down so we compiled a list of other lowball strategies that will get turned down in the spirit of this post
"The 'Penny for Your Porsche' Proposal: Trying to score a luxury car at a bargain-basement price by offering a laughably low sum that barely covers the cost of a cup of coffee. The seller, unimpressed by your attempt at frugality, kindly suggests you try the toy section instead.
"The 'Clunker for a Cadillac' Conundrum: Attempting to trade in your beat-up old jalopy for a sleek new sports car and expecting the dealer to jump at the chance. Unfortunately, your offer is met with a raised eyebrow and a polite suggestion to try the used car lot down the street.
"The 'Dollar Store Discount' Dilemma: Insisting on haggling over the price of a high-end vehicle as if you're negotiating the cost of a discount toaster. The salesperson, struggling to maintain their composure, politely informs you that cars aren't typically sold at Dollar General prices.
"The 'Lowball Limbo' Limelight: Getting so caught up in the excitement of lowballing that you find yourself stuck in a never-ending game of negotiation limbo. As you keep lowering your offer, the seller watches in amusement before finally putting an end to the charade and showing you the door.
"The 'Bargain Basement' Boondoggle: Deciding to take the lowball approach to the extreme by offering a fraction of the car's value and expecting the seller to take pity on you. Instead, you're met with incredulous stares and a polite but firm refusal, leaving you to contemplate your next move from the sidewalk.
"The 'Penny for Your Porsche' Proposal: Trying to score a luxury car at a bargain-basement price by offering a laughably low sum that barely covers the cost of a cup of coffee. The seller, unimpressed by your attempt at frugality, kindly suggests you try the toy section instead.
"The 'Clunker for a Cadillac' Conundrum: Attempting to trade in your beat-up old jalopy for a sleek new sports car and expecting the dealer to jump at the chance. Unfortunately, your offer is met with a raised eyebrow and a polite suggestion to try the used car lot down the street.
"The 'Dollar Store Discount' Dilemma: Insisting on haggling over the price of a high-end vehicle as if you're negotiating the cost of a discount toaster. The salesperson, struggling to maintain their composure, politely informs you that cars aren't typically sold at Dollar General prices.
"The 'Lowball Limbo' Limelight: Getting so caught up in the excitement of lowballing that you find yourself stuck in a never-ending game of negotiation limbo. As you keep lowering your offer, the seller watches in amusement before finally putting an end to the charade and showing you the door.
"The 'Bargain Basement' Boondoggle: Deciding to take the lowball approach to the extreme by offering a fraction of the car's value and expecting the seller to take pity on you. Instead, you're met with incredulous stares and a polite but firm refusal, leaving you to contemplate your next move from the sidewalk.
