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1 year ago
Little banter with EA
Could this teach them that making good games is a good idea? Here EA you can have these ideas since your games are so good recently "Office Chaos Simulator": Play as an office worker navigating through mundane tasks like filing paperwork, fixing the printer, and attending endless meetings.
The goal? Survive the workday without succumbing to boredom-induced madness! "Toast Simulator 3000": Experience the thrill of being a slice of bread in a toaster. Your mission? Get toasted evenly without burning or getting stuck.
Bonus points for landing butter-side up! "Traffic Jam Tycoon": Build and manage your own gridlocked city! Strategically place traffic lights, roadblocks, and potholes to ensure maximum congestion. Can you frustrate enough virtual commuters to become the ultimate traffic jam tycoon? "Zombie Accountant Apocalypse": Play as a zombie accountant roaming the streets in search of spreadsheets to devour.
Watch out for rival zombie lawyers and auditors out to steal your clients' brains! "Extreme Lawn Mowing Championship": Race against the clock to mow lawns in the most absurd and dangerous locations imaginable – from erupting volcanoes to outer space. Just be careful not to run over any garden gnomes!
The goal? Survive the workday without succumbing to boredom-induced madness! "Toast Simulator 3000": Experience the thrill of being a slice of bread in a toaster. Your mission? Get toasted evenly without burning or getting stuck.
Bonus points for landing butter-side up! "Traffic Jam Tycoon": Build and manage your own gridlocked city! Strategically place traffic lights, roadblocks, and potholes to ensure maximum congestion. Can you frustrate enough virtual commuters to become the ultimate traffic jam tycoon? "Zombie Accountant Apocalypse": Play as a zombie accountant roaming the streets in search of spreadsheets to devour.
Watch out for rival zombie lawyers and auditors out to steal your clients' brains! "Extreme Lawn Mowing Championship": Race against the clock to mow lawns in the most absurd and dangerous locations imaginable – from erupting volcanoes to outer space. Just be careful not to run over any garden gnomes!
1 year ago
1 year ago
God of War is a good game though
Wish we knew if he realized after he was done lore dumping. Who knows maybe God Of War is simply better then sex? We've explored the possibly:
"No Need for Foreplay—Just Press Start": With God of War, there's no need to worry about candles, mood lighting, or romantic music—just fire up your console and press start. Who needs foreplay when you can dive straight into an epic adventure filled with gods, monsters, and epic battles?
"Multiple Endings, No Strings Attached": Unlike sex, where the ending is usually predetermined, God of War offers multiple endings and branching storylines. Whether you prefer a happy ending or a tragic one, there's something for everyone in this epic saga—no strings attached.
"You Can Skip the Pillow Talk and Go Straight to Epic Boss Fights": Who needs post-coital cuddling when you can skip straight to the adrenaline-pumping action of epic boss fights? With God of War, you can trade sweet nothings for epic showdowns with mythical creatures and vengeful gods.
"No Performance Anxiety—Just Epic Gameplay": Worried about performance anxiety ruining the mood? With God of War, there's no need to stress about your performance—just focus on mastering the game's combat mechanics and unleashing devastating combos on your enemies.
"You Can Pause for Snacks Without Ruining the Moment": Ever tried to pause sex for a snack break? It's awkward, to say the least. But with God of War, you can pause the action at any time to grab a snack, take a bathroom break, or answer the door without ruining the moment. It's the ultimate convenience for hungry gamers everywhere.
"No Need for Foreplay—Just Press Start": With God of War, there's no need to worry about candles, mood lighting, or romantic music—just fire up your console and press start. Who needs foreplay when you can dive straight into an epic adventure filled with gods, monsters, and epic battles?
"Multiple Endings, No Strings Attached": Unlike sex, where the ending is usually predetermined, God of War offers multiple endings and branching storylines. Whether you prefer a happy ending or a tragic one, there's something for everyone in this epic saga—no strings attached.
"You Can Skip the Pillow Talk and Go Straight to Epic Boss Fights": Who needs post-coital cuddling when you can skip straight to the adrenaline-pumping action of epic boss fights? With God of War, you can trade sweet nothings for epic showdowns with mythical creatures and vengeful gods.
"No Performance Anxiety—Just Epic Gameplay": Worried about performance anxiety ruining the mood? With God of War, there's no need to stress about your performance—just focus on mastering the game's combat mechanics and unleashing devastating combos on your enemies.
"You Can Pause for Snacks Without Ruining the Moment": Ever tried to pause sex for a snack break? It's awkward, to say the least. But with God of War, you can pause the action at any time to grab a snack, take a bathroom break, or answer the door without ruining the moment. It's the ultimate convenience for hungry gamers everywhere.
1 year ago
Not the message you would want to get
He cares though even if cringe.
Here are some cringe-worthy, tongue-in-cheek ways a boss might inappropriately express care:
"Hey team, just a heads-up that I've installed cameras in the break room to make sure you're all taking those well-deserved coffee breaks. I care about your caffeine intake, you know?"
"I've set up mandatory group hugs every morning to foster team spirit. If anyone refuses, they'll be assigned to the 'hug audit' project. Let's keep those hugs coming, folks!"
"I've personally reviewed everyone's medical records to ensure you're all staying healthy. Remember, I'm just a spreadsheet away if you need some 'extra motivation' to hit those fitness goals!"
"To show my appreciation for your hard work, I've organized a surprise 'Trust Fall Tuesday' event. Don't worry, I'll catch you... unless I'm in a meeting, in which case, good luck!"
"As a special treat, I've updated the office playlist with my favorite motivational speeches on loop. Nothing says 'I care' like the soothing sounds of a CEO TED talk echoing through the halls, right?"
Here are some cringe-worthy, tongue-in-cheek ways a boss might inappropriately express care:
"Hey team, just a heads-up that I've installed cameras in the break room to make sure you're all taking those well-deserved coffee breaks. I care about your caffeine intake, you know?"
"I've set up mandatory group hugs every morning to foster team spirit. If anyone refuses, they'll be assigned to the 'hug audit' project. Let's keep those hugs coming, folks!"
"I've personally reviewed everyone's medical records to ensure you're all staying healthy. Remember, I'm just a spreadsheet away if you need some 'extra motivation' to hit those fitness goals!"
"To show my appreciation for your hard work, I've organized a surprise 'Trust Fall Tuesday' event. Don't worry, I'll catch you... unless I'm in a meeting, in which case, good luck!"
"As a special treat, I've updated the office playlist with my favorite motivational speeches on loop. Nothing says 'I care' like the soothing sounds of a CEO TED talk echoing through the halls, right?"
1 year ago
20 yo stoner wishing he got that email
Gamers managed to call Shadowheart from Baldurs Gate 3 Shart so you know. Regardless it's not all bad! Here's some reasons why your new email can be the best thing that ever happened to you!
Instant Icebreaker at Parties: With an email like [email protected], you'll never struggle to break the ice at parties. Just imagine the laughs and awkward glances when you introduce yourself as the proud owner of the infamous shart420 email address. It's a conversation starter like no other.
Unforgettable First Impressions: Whether you're applying for jobs or signing up for online dating, your email address is sure to leave a lasting impression. Sure, some may raise an eyebrow at the word "shart," but others will admire your boldness and sense of humor. Who needs a boring email address when you can have one that leaves a mark?
Endless Supply of Toilet Humor: Let's face it—there's no shortage of toilet humor when your email includes the word "shart." From hilarious autocorrect fails to endless puns about bodily functions, your inbox is guaranteed to be a treasure trove of comedic gold. Who knew a simple email address could bring so much joy?
Built-In Excuse for Typos: Accidentally hit send before proofreading your email? Blame it on your email address! With [email protected], you have the perfect excuse for any embarrassing typos or grammatical errors. After all, who can expect perfect spelling from someone with such a memorable email?
Exclusive Access to the Shart Club: Congratulations, you're now a member of the exclusive Shart Club! Whether it's sharing embarrassing stories or swapping shart-themed memes, you'll never be short on laughs with your fellow shart enthusiasts. Embrace the hilarity and wear your email address with pride—[email protected] is a badge of honor, not a source of shame.
Instant Icebreaker at Parties: With an email like [email protected], you'll never struggle to break the ice at parties. Just imagine the laughs and awkward glances when you introduce yourself as the proud owner of the infamous shart420 email address. It's a conversation starter like no other.
Unforgettable First Impressions: Whether you're applying for jobs or signing up for online dating, your email address is sure to leave a lasting impression. Sure, some may raise an eyebrow at the word "shart," but others will admire your boldness and sense of humor. Who needs a boring email address when you can have one that leaves a mark?
Endless Supply of Toilet Humor: Let's face it—there's no shortage of toilet humor when your email includes the word "shart." From hilarious autocorrect fails to endless puns about bodily functions, your inbox is guaranteed to be a treasure trove of comedic gold. Who knew a simple email address could bring so much joy?
Built-In Excuse for Typos: Accidentally hit send before proofreading your email? Blame it on your email address! With [email protected], you have the perfect excuse for any embarrassing typos or grammatical errors. After all, who can expect perfect spelling from someone with such a memorable email?
Exclusive Access to the Shart Club: Congratulations, you're now a member of the exclusive Shart Club! Whether it's sharing embarrassing stories or swapping shart-themed memes, you'll never be short on laughs with your fellow shart enthusiasts. Embrace the hilarity and wear your email address with pride—[email protected] is a badge of honor, not a source of shame.
1 year ago
1 year ago
