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1 year ago
Little banter with EA
Could this teach them that making good games is a good idea? Here EA you can have these ideas since your games are so good recently "Office Chaos Simulator": Play as an office worker navigating through mundane tasks like filing paperwork, fixing the printer, and attending endless meetings.
The goal? Survive the workday without succumbing to boredom-induced madness! "Toast Simulator 3000": Experience the thrill of being a slice of bread in a toaster. Your mission? Get toasted evenly without burning or getting stuck.
Bonus points for landing butter-side up! "Traffic Jam Tycoon": Build and manage your own gridlocked city! Strategically place traffic lights, roadblocks, and potholes to ensure maximum congestion. Can you frustrate enough virtual commuters to become the ultimate traffic jam tycoon? "Zombie Accountant Apocalypse": Play as a zombie accountant roaming the streets in search of spreadsheets to devour.
Watch out for rival zombie lawyers and auditors out to steal your clients' brains! "Extreme Lawn Mowing Championship": Race against the clock to mow lawns in the most absurd and dangerous locations imaginable – from erupting volcanoes to outer space. Just be careful not to run over any garden gnomes!
The goal? Survive the workday without succumbing to boredom-induced madness! "Toast Simulator 3000": Experience the thrill of being a slice of bread in a toaster. Your mission? Get toasted evenly without burning or getting stuck.
Bonus points for landing butter-side up! "Traffic Jam Tycoon": Build and manage your own gridlocked city! Strategically place traffic lights, roadblocks, and potholes to ensure maximum congestion. Can you frustrate enough virtual commuters to become the ultimate traffic jam tycoon? "Zombie Accountant Apocalypse": Play as a zombie accountant roaming the streets in search of spreadsheets to devour.
Watch out for rival zombie lawyers and auditors out to steal your clients' brains! "Extreme Lawn Mowing Championship": Race against the clock to mow lawns in the most absurd and dangerous locations imaginable – from erupting volcanoes to outer space. Just be careful not to run over any garden gnomes!
1 year ago
Chill out Mr. Dhalmer
Better then eating your family out, still we prepared some reasons as to why you shouldn't do it in case there was a weird itch this joke was scratching
"The Awkward Family Feast":
"Imagine the awkwardness at the next family gathering after devouring Aunt Mildred's pot roast – talk about uncomfortable!"
"Recipe for Regret":
"Eating loved ones might fill your stomach, but it leaves a bad taste in your conscience. Therapy bills will outweigh any culinary satisfaction."
"Leftovers Loathing":
"Leftover Tío Tony tacos lose their charm when they stare back at you from the fridge. Explaining the familiar flavor to guests? Awkward!"
"Guilt with a Side of Gravy":
"Turning pranks into pot pies only adds guilt to the menu. The gravy can't mask the tears – or the taste."
"The In-Laws' Inquiry":
"Imagine the in-laws' questions when their precious offspring becomes shepherd's pie filling. Dodging inquiries becomes a full-time job."
"The Awkward Family Feast":
"Imagine the awkwardness at the next family gathering after devouring Aunt Mildred's pot roast – talk about uncomfortable!"
"Recipe for Regret":
"Eating loved ones might fill your stomach, but it leaves a bad taste in your conscience. Therapy bills will outweigh any culinary satisfaction."
"Leftovers Loathing":
"Leftover Tío Tony tacos lose their charm when they stare back at you from the fridge. Explaining the familiar flavor to guests? Awkward!"
"Guilt with a Side of Gravy":
"Turning pranks into pot pies only adds guilt to the menu. The gravy can't mask the tears – or the taste."
"The In-Laws' Inquiry":
"Imagine the in-laws' questions when their precious offspring becomes shepherd's pie filling. Dodging inquiries becomes a full-time job."
1 year ago
I'm a cat so i wouldn't know
But i'd assume they do.
Everyone wants to be a hero here are some scenarios we cam up with:
"The Avalanche Avoision": While skiing, you notice a group of fellow skiers buried in an avalanche. Utilizing your trusty snowboard, you perform a series of gravity-defying tricks down the mountain, creating a snowstorm of epic proportions that covers the avalanche and transforms it into the world's largest snow cone. As everyone enjoys the impromptu dessert, you're hailed as the "Snowboard Savant" and earn free lift tickets for life. And as a bonus, you suggest they add some yellow snow for extra flavor.
"The Burning Bungalow Bouncer": Spotting smoke from a nearby apartment building, you charge into action armed with a fire extinguisher and a superhero cape made of flame-resistant fabric softener sheets. Bursting through the door like a one-person fire brigade, you quench the flames with a single blast from the extinguisher and lead the residents to safety, all while belting out a rendition of "I Will Survive." You're hailed as the "Disco Inferno Defender" and receive VIP access to all fire safety seminars. And you make sure to leave behind a trail of toilet paper streamers as you exit, just for laughs.
"The River Rapids Rascal": Hearing cries for help from the river, you leap into action and execute a flawless cannonball dive, creating a tidal wave that propels the struggling swimmer safely to shore. As you emerge from the water, you strike a pose reminiscent of a Baywatch lifeguard, complete with slow-motion hair flip and dramatic music. The grateful swimmer dubs you the "Aquatic Avenger" and offers to be your personal water taxi for life. And you offer them a snorkel and goggles, just in case they need to take care of business while in the water.
"The Gas Leak Giggle Getter": Detecting the scent of natural gas, you don a gas mask and venture into the house, armed with a giant cork and a can of beans (for obvious reasons). With a swift motion, you plug the gas leak with the cork and unleash a symphony of flatulence to dissipate any remaining gas fumes. Residents emerge from their homes giggling uncontrollably, dubbing you the "Flatulent Fixer" and inviting you to their next barbecue. And you make sure to leave behind a scented candle to mask any lingering odors.
"The Sinking Ship Shenanigator": As the cruise ship takes on water, you don a snorkel, flippers, and a Hawaiian shirt, transforming into the "Tropical Tourist Titan." Using inflatable pool toys as flotation devices, you lead passengers in a synchronized swimming routine to the safety of the lifeboats, all while serenading them with sea shanties and handing out complimentary sunscreen. Your nautical antics earn you the title of "Captain Comic Relief" and an honorary membership in the International Society of Silly Sailors. And you make sure to bring along a rubber duckie to keep everyone entertained during the rescue.
Everyone wants to be a hero here are some scenarios we cam up with:
"The Avalanche Avoision": While skiing, you notice a group of fellow skiers buried in an avalanche. Utilizing your trusty snowboard, you perform a series of gravity-defying tricks down the mountain, creating a snowstorm of epic proportions that covers the avalanche and transforms it into the world's largest snow cone. As everyone enjoys the impromptu dessert, you're hailed as the "Snowboard Savant" and earn free lift tickets for life. And as a bonus, you suggest they add some yellow snow for extra flavor.
"The Burning Bungalow Bouncer": Spotting smoke from a nearby apartment building, you charge into action armed with a fire extinguisher and a superhero cape made of flame-resistant fabric softener sheets. Bursting through the door like a one-person fire brigade, you quench the flames with a single blast from the extinguisher and lead the residents to safety, all while belting out a rendition of "I Will Survive." You're hailed as the "Disco Inferno Defender" and receive VIP access to all fire safety seminars. And you make sure to leave behind a trail of toilet paper streamers as you exit, just for laughs.
"The River Rapids Rascal": Hearing cries for help from the river, you leap into action and execute a flawless cannonball dive, creating a tidal wave that propels the struggling swimmer safely to shore. As you emerge from the water, you strike a pose reminiscent of a Baywatch lifeguard, complete with slow-motion hair flip and dramatic music. The grateful swimmer dubs you the "Aquatic Avenger" and offers to be your personal water taxi for life. And you offer them a snorkel and goggles, just in case they need to take care of business while in the water.
"The Gas Leak Giggle Getter": Detecting the scent of natural gas, you don a gas mask and venture into the house, armed with a giant cork and a can of beans (for obvious reasons). With a swift motion, you plug the gas leak with the cork and unleash a symphony of flatulence to dissipate any remaining gas fumes. Residents emerge from their homes giggling uncontrollably, dubbing you the "Flatulent Fixer" and inviting you to their next barbecue. And you make sure to leave behind a scented candle to mask any lingering odors.
"The Sinking Ship Shenanigator": As the cruise ship takes on water, you don a snorkel, flippers, and a Hawaiian shirt, transforming into the "Tropical Tourist Titan." Using inflatable pool toys as flotation devices, you lead passengers in a synchronized swimming routine to the safety of the lifeboats, all while serenading them with sea shanties and handing out complimentary sunscreen. Your nautical antics earn you the title of "Captain Comic Relief" and an honorary membership in the International Society of Silly Sailors. And you make sure to bring along a rubber duckie to keep everyone entertained during the rescue.
1 year ago
Very honest socially awkward messages
There's no time like the present to learn, from what I've heard most of them are something called people. But that is for beginners or a group of people that posses something called charisma. We're out here living rough not getting dates and having a hard time, keeping it real so we asked 5 top pick up artists what their preferred method of talking to women they each is and got these replies:
"The Mime Misstep": Embrace the art of silent communication! By mastering mime techniques, you'll captivate women with your enigmatic charm and leave them intrigued by your mysterious allure. Who needs words when you can speak volumes with just a glance and a gesture?
"The Complimentary Conundrum": Expand your compliment repertoire beyond the usual clichés! By showering everyday objects with praise, you'll demonstrate your creativity and ability to find beauty in unexpected places. Women will be drawn to your unique perspective and keen eye for detail.
"The Rom-Com Reject": Transform everyday interactions into cinematic masterpieces! By borrowing lines from romantic comedies, you'll infuse your conversations with whimsy and romance, sweeping women off their feet with your charming wit and boundless imagination.
"The Social Media Stalker 2.0": Show off your attention to detail and playful sense of humor! By leaving cryptic comments on women's social media posts, you'll intrigue them with your mysterious allure and keep them coming back for more. Who needs straightforward compliments when you can keep them guessing?
"The Animal Attraction Anomaly": Connect with your primal instincts and embrace your inner animal lover! By engaging in deep conversations with animals, you'll demonstrate your compassionate nature and ability to find common ground with creatures big and small. Women will be drawn to your gentle spirit and empathetic demeanor.
"The Mime Misstep": Embrace the art of silent communication! By mastering mime techniques, you'll captivate women with your enigmatic charm and leave them intrigued by your mysterious allure. Who needs words when you can speak volumes with just a glance and a gesture?
"The Complimentary Conundrum": Expand your compliment repertoire beyond the usual clichés! By showering everyday objects with praise, you'll demonstrate your creativity and ability to find beauty in unexpected places. Women will be drawn to your unique perspective and keen eye for detail.
"The Rom-Com Reject": Transform everyday interactions into cinematic masterpieces! By borrowing lines from romantic comedies, you'll infuse your conversations with whimsy and romance, sweeping women off their feet with your charming wit and boundless imagination.
"The Social Media Stalker 2.0": Show off your attention to detail and playful sense of humor! By leaving cryptic comments on women's social media posts, you'll intrigue them with your mysterious allure and keep them coming back for more. Who needs straightforward compliments when you can keep them guessing?
"The Animal Attraction Anomaly": Connect with your primal instincts and embrace your inner animal lover! By engaging in deep conversations with animals, you'll demonstrate your compassionate nature and ability to find common ground with creatures big and small. Women will be drawn to your gentle spirit and empathetic demeanor.
1 year ago
Sue those kids Karen
If the shoe fits... Why not sue the kids? They called her Karen already what's the worse that can even happen anymore?
Here's a few reasons why Karen SHOULD sue those pesky ankle biters:
"The Playground Peril": Karen should sue those pint-sized perpetrators for emotional distress and playground defamation. After all, it's not easy being the target of tiny tyrants armed with juice boxes and snarky remarks. Time to lawyer up and show those ankle-biters who's boss!
"The Lemonade Stand Lawsuit": Those 8-year-olds may think they're clever with their giggles and pointed fingers, but Karen knows that playground bullying is no laughing matter. It's time to take those pint-sized punks to court and demand compensation for the trauma of being mocked by mini-humans with sticky fingers and sticky insults.
"The Recess Retribution": Karen should sue those pint-sized provocateurs for causing a recess riot and disrupting the delicate ecosystem of the schoolyard. After all, it's hard to maintain one's dignity when surrounded by a gaggle of giggling grade-schoolers armed with insults and exaggerated eye rolls.
"The Lunchbox Lawsuit": Karen should sue those tiny terrors for ruining her lunch break with their juvenile jokes and juvenile justice system. After all, it's not easy enjoying a sandwich when you're being heckled by a horde of pint-sized hecklers armed with pudding cups and snide remarks.
"The Naptime Nuisance": Karen should sue those mini-menaces for disturbing her beauty sleep with their childish taunts and childish tantrums. After all, it's hard to catch some Z's when you're being serenaded by a chorus of giggles and whispers from the peanut gallery of elementary school mischief-makers.
Here's a few reasons why Karen SHOULD sue those pesky ankle biters:
"The Playground Peril": Karen should sue those pint-sized perpetrators for emotional distress and playground defamation. After all, it's not easy being the target of tiny tyrants armed with juice boxes and snarky remarks. Time to lawyer up and show those ankle-biters who's boss!
"The Lemonade Stand Lawsuit": Those 8-year-olds may think they're clever with their giggles and pointed fingers, but Karen knows that playground bullying is no laughing matter. It's time to take those pint-sized punks to court and demand compensation for the trauma of being mocked by mini-humans with sticky fingers and sticky insults.
"The Recess Retribution": Karen should sue those pint-sized provocateurs for causing a recess riot and disrupting the delicate ecosystem of the schoolyard. After all, it's hard to maintain one's dignity when surrounded by a gaggle of giggling grade-schoolers armed with insults and exaggerated eye rolls.
"The Lunchbox Lawsuit": Karen should sue those tiny terrors for ruining her lunch break with their juvenile jokes and juvenile justice system. After all, it's not easy enjoying a sandwich when you're being heckled by a horde of pint-sized hecklers armed with pudding cups and snide remarks.
"The Naptime Nuisance": Karen should sue those mini-menaces for disturbing her beauty sleep with their childish taunts and childish tantrums. After all, it's hard to catch some Z's when you're being serenaded by a chorus of giggles and whispers from the peanut gallery of elementary school mischief-makers.
1 year ago
What did she want?
A very risky strategy
Here are five funny ways to get your girlfriend's attention:
The "Skywriter Surprise": Hire a skywriter to spell out your message in the clouds above her house. Bonus points if you include an inside joke or a funny pun!
The "Catwalk Caller": Strut into the room wearing a ridiculous costume or outfit, like a superhero cape or a dinosaur onesie, and dramatically announce your presence like you're on a fashion runway.
The "Musical Messenger": Record a silly song or rap about your relationship and blast it from a boombox outside her window, complete with backup dancers (even if it's just you and your air guitar).
The "Punny Post-It Palooza": Cover her entire room with sticky notes, each one featuring a cheesy pun or a funny message. It's like a scavenger hunt for laughter!
The "Puppy Proposal": Show up at her doorstep with a bunch of adorable puppies wearing signs that spell out your message, whether it's "Will you go out with me?" or "I'm sorry for eating all your snacks."
Here are five funny ways to get your girlfriend's attention:
The "Skywriter Surprise": Hire a skywriter to spell out your message in the clouds above her house. Bonus points if you include an inside joke or a funny pun!
The "Catwalk Caller": Strut into the room wearing a ridiculous costume or outfit, like a superhero cape or a dinosaur onesie, and dramatically announce your presence like you're on a fashion runway.
The "Musical Messenger": Record a silly song or rap about your relationship and blast it from a boombox outside her window, complete with backup dancers (even if it's just you and your air guitar).
The "Punny Post-It Palooza": Cover her entire room with sticky notes, each one featuring a cheesy pun or a funny message. It's like a scavenger hunt for laughter!
The "Puppy Proposal": Show up at her doorstep with a bunch of adorable puppies wearing signs that spell out your message, whether it's "Will you go out with me?" or "I'm sorry for eating all your snacks."
1 year ago
